301209 - New Hair? Locked in

went for a haircut today. now i look likeof cuz its the uglier version but in short.. its quite short yet long.. and i think i want it shorter... soon.. soon.. ha ha ha.. anyway.. meet up with my fren and went back to sch.. i told him not to be shocked and he saw me and commented.. u think u korean ar? then i ehh.. no.. i just went there and say i wan a very short hair.. then i closed my eyes.. haha.. anyway.. i was locked up in the sportshall.. like wth? its not even 10 and im locked in... watever. anyway.. i said alot of things today.. can say.. i feel better yet i don feel too good.. like middle middle.. not here not there.. i dono.

i don feel like goin out for lunch outing tml.. maybe i shouldn't... shd i go club tml? ha ha ha.. watever... maybe i shd cut my hair shorter tml..

.tim *not hoping for much. still, i want u*

i boarded the new train.

i saw this on disney channel.

time to prepare. i am GOIN FOR A HAIR CUT! this time for real.

GOODBYE.

.tim

291209 - piece it back tgt

i had popeye's today. =) thank you! Currently sneezing away.. =( anyway. your life. your responsibility. its time to piece it back tgt.. if angel happens to help.. good for u.. if not, u still have to do it.. one challenge, one plus point, one more puzzle piece. paint your own picture.

reminder to self :"don expect anything. anything can happen"

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faith hope trust. dictionary? brain? heart?

===

.tim *i still cried otw home in the end*

Another day.. Another New Beginning...

was it just a dream or was it all too real?

uncertain of the path. blurred by obstacles..

but press on.. ur pot of gold awaits you.

.tim *ehh! i miss you! so much!*

281209 - drifts

nth interesting today. lunch with sec sch classmate and he was late! headed to sch.. self pract a little.. i think i shall do it more often. band was okay? bro came to help.. thats one thing off my load.. phew.. thanks.. am now home.. eating my cake for dinner. cake is a nice thing.. it makes u smile but ice cream and chocolate still work best...

browse thru my picture folder, fb.. alot of memories.. i miss the holidays.. i miss the old sch days..

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sometimes u wonder why are u the one doing all these.. its amazing how a tot of it can change ur mood... sometimes u just feel so USED. is this wat they call FFB? oh.. the projects i have to do..

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.tim *i'm finding my answer*

New Day, New Beginning

Brand new day, Brand new start.

Time to prepare for school.

*My Mask*

its been a roller coaster ride today... im very very tired.. 我真的好累了。。好累。。

tml will be a better day thou i know wat i have to do.. i tried to smile =) i will try again tml..

im tired.. good nite..

tender loving care from up above

some ppl ask me how can u be so nice to ppl who hurt u? i have been asking tat but i dono why.. maybe i just like to do it.. im brought up this way.. tats jus me. went posting letters with mummy.. and she told me this.. which i cannot stop laughing...

"today morning, ur daddy was doin the usual.. smoking at the balcony befor his daily business.. then i made him his brandy creme coffee.. then he said this to me... " wa, (mummy's name), u take very good care of me hor.." then i feel so happy the whole day"

i cannot stop laughing... haha.. its amazing how a small sentence can make someone so happy for so long... of cuz i have my moments. i think its true.. i learnt to do this from up above...

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part 2

"sometimes ur daddy scold u all for nth rite, is not he want... is cuz he work.. then stress and pek chek... he also don like to scold u all.. he cares alot abt you kids also... see, every sunday.. he will stock up the fridge and cook ur favorites.. so when he is unreasonable.. u all must uds... don get upset... left year in right ear out.."

haha.. its true i guess.. give and take.. try to uds... cuz afterall.. these are the ppl u can rely on... as for ur frens... u decide urself... i always complain alot.. but in the end.. i will do it.. cuz if u can help.. just help.. cuz if u are in need of help.. u wish they will be there for u too rite?

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every relationship is a dedicate unique balance... give and take.. understanding and tolerance.. love and care... faith and trust.. hope and sweetness... theres so much in it... happiness and sadness.. its part of it... how long it last lies in ur hands.... maintain it...

===

.tim *we will still be as loving if not more loving 1 yr, 10 yrs, 100 yrs down the road.*

271209 - love your enemy

nth much today. went amk for a stroll. theres pop's eye there.. =) currently in a moodless mood as per the last few days. so very sian..

love your enemy.. u must be thinking i mad already rite? nope.. im crazy but i think this is a good idea.. how can u find peace if u urself ain't peaceful at all? no matter wat.. its a vicious cycle isn't it? if someone does sth nasty and mean to you, and u do it back. then that person do it to u again.. then when is this goin to end.. both of u get more and more hurt isn't it? this is one of the reason why sometimes i just keep quiet. its not tat i don't care or im nice to bully.. its just i think its pointless to do anything. ha.ha.

.tim *i want to put tat smile back on ur face again*

261209 - Tuaygi Tuki

rainy cold day. eat and eat. slept alittle. tot alot. watched “妻子的诱惑”.

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watching the DVD, u feel life is unfair. why are there always these ppl. who just wanna ruin ur life. have they nothing better to do? if i could. i would erase them away.. reading some things makes me feel so ??? of cuz im upset.. but im more hurt... u actually wrote tat. and it's pointless to ask u to del it or anything.. wat's happened already happened.. let it be..

time and time again.. there has been many rumors abt me.. scandals.. silly ones.. serious ones.. nonsensical ones.. there was even one abt me quiting sch and migrating. when will they stop? its silly isnt it.. and others actually believe.. i have no comments.

no matter how you feel. happi or sad. angry or calm. u know who will be there for you. deep down inside.. small actions. treasured feelings. only you know. actions speaks louder then words.

===

.tim *will u take me on a holiday? away from all these challenges?*

clear the air

cleared with the person.. but then start another tot of mind.. why is tat things like this always happen when a particular person is there? suspicious rite? haha.. yet.. nth is mentioned here. no names were ever mentioned.. =) smile... this particular person. THANKS! u are such a *toot*.

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i have my tots. 1 years ago, u did this..this year, u do it again to me.. just that the other person changed. wat have i even done to u? haha. guess it just pleases u to see me suffer rite... karma ok.

===

.tim

251209 - don't think so much.

241209 - kite

woke up quite earli to prepare some food for sentosa.. sorry for being late.. really didnt mean to.. anyway.. run ard, played. tried to fly my kite but no wind.. aww... overall.. i am happy.. =) had dinner out went home rest awhile and met the rest at cityhall.. again.. sorry for being late.. thanks for waiting.. headed to esplanade to chill.. and i knocked out eventually cuz i was too tired.. cabbed home.. merry christmas.

251209 - don think so much

sent my day at home slping away in the end.. so much idle time = more time to think. which is bad. anyway.. merry chirstmas everyone. =) hope u had a great one.

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wat would u do when u are accused but am innocent? was it just a miscommunication or has the wordS of mouthS changed the whole picture? clear conscious. watever it is. do as u please.

===

.tim

231209 - Tiring!

had project in the morning. chat with jiamin after tat.. haha.. abt band.. and her band seniors.. and my band.. memories... went taka to shop.. wanted to get a wallet but ya... don waste money ar.. my wallet still so new.. haha... travelled ard.. and went back to vch for philyouth concert... its not bad u know... i like 3rd symphony's 3rd movement.. so EMOTIONAL... can feel the emotions building up.. mac and homed.

tml is kite day! yes! and after tat is Esplanade tonning! i have life ok! who wan come? haha. ok.. the current mass convo with gerri, janey, benny, sarri, raywee, jasony has made me all crazy.. who wan join us for tonning sms me! ask me for details. lai.. all invited... its a all merry christmas!

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i realise alot of things today again.. haha.. kite day.. let the wind bring you far far away.. good bye.

===

.tim *umm hmm =D*

GO AWAY. LEAVE ME ALONE

JUST GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE.

I HATE SCH. I HATE WAT I NEED TO PUT UP WITH. I HATE MY JOB.

GO AWAY. U STUPID IRRITATING IRRITANT.

WTH.

BYE. ASSHOLE

221209 - i feel so N-ed

woke up earli. went for medical. i tot i was late.. so cabbed from queensway mrt.. wth.. i wasnt.. i had to wait so long.. anyway.. went home after tat.. EAT alot and slp... woke up.. went to chinatown with mummy... while exploring the area.. i had a flash back... i use to walk along the linkway between OG and people's park.. last time, theres this toy uncle.. and i always stand there and stare at the toys.. i sometimes miss being a kid.. i want to eat ice cream. i wan to fly kite.

theres alot of time to slp and think today.. it seems like a long day.. and as im blogging now.. i see 1111... oh well... proj tml. concert in the evening...

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R vs PI, when will it all end?

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.tim *staring out. waiting.*

211209 - bad day.

not a good day. my phone kept ringing... its the same old responsibility vs personal interest. and still.. my responsibilities got the better of me.. hais. upset! anyway, went home and ate alot and slept. like a pig. woke up.. drag myself to sch.. set up the band room as usual and i think i pulled my nerve. my should pain =( and i cant reach. oh well.. band was....

up earli tml. travelling to a dreadful place..

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wat else you want? i guess its not time yet... tolerance and patience.. even if it means sacrificing everything else.. hasnt it been like this? i guess tats my life. haha..... when will i finally find my box full of double chocolate hello panda with chocolate cream in every panda biscuit?

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.tim *i am sad but i don wan to show it*

201209 - bye weekends.

zoom. weekends are gone! sat driving.. it was great! everything was quite ok.. except i stalled 3 times.. nah.. nth big.. im confident already! often, we are who we think we are and what we can do. so i shall think tat way =) went home to freshen up b4 meeting halif for jon's xmas.

halif was late! anyway.. he said im a rose in the bed of thorns? o.0 haha... and the you tiao. went to jon's and left after while.. went shopping! i got a new shirt. yays. went out for late nite dinner and home.

sunday.. wa.. woke up damn earli... am so shagged now.. church, lunch. met fian. hello dey, u said 2 lo.. walked ard while waiting, i could even file my nails. strolled from douby to raffles to meet him. i rmb how to walk! thanks to the someone who teach me! haha.. had lunch again at ms which sucked. got some stuff and left for vch. yuhua in concert. not bad. first time thou.. steel drums were interesting. waited. dinner at macs and home. last train last bus. i was lucky today. =)

.tim *i am willing. my glimpse of sunshine*

181209 - GG SOQM, Holidays!

Lesson at 8! omg. imagine dragging urself to sch.. i slept 3/4 of the train ride.. i slept standing up -.-.. anway, not many came.. thanks ms tan for the hashbrown and laugther.. =) lecture ended at 12. studied in the library. did some band stuff.. and ya.. here comes the paper... and i was so tired and pfft.. didnt study much... wa... the things i study nv come out leh.. the things i didnt came out.. omg! first time spot wrong qn.. maybe too tired.. GG, maybe a 60%? sadded.

rush to finish up my band worked.. then left to celebrate jolie's bday in advance.. woo.. time to save! getting tight.. but yay! hols are here.. on the bright side.. i can have a break.. time to let go abit.. time for a break.. =D study.. rmb.. study.. driving tml morning! last lesson! then goin to my fren's place for advance xmas in the evening. wonder who i will meet there.. haha. yup.. tiring day.. slp earli. new straight soft bed sheets! thanks mummy!

.tim *Jiayou! you can do it! i'm here, supporting you all the way*

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its time to let go. its time to loosen those tense muscle. its time to wash it off. time to be like the little kitten. smileeeeeeeee. =D

171209 - part 3

long long day. having slept for less then 4 hrs. dragged myself up for the 8 am lesson.. everyone was still slping when i left. =( i want to say. attending miss tan's lesson was not bad.. at least it puts my mind away from other tots for tat period.. and i can just laugh it off.. im sorry i had to leave the class to do band stuff again.. i'll arrange a better system.. tml theres a ms tan's laughaton session at 8 tml.. i shall go.. and pull my mind away...

decided to skip MCAD lecture again.. went home.. took a 10 min nap.. and got summon to pass the key... and i was late to meet my fren... sorry.. had a few laughs with everyone b4 goin our seperate ways.. Ramdan was pretty amusing.. miss the show.. went for another one.. had prata and cake b4 that.. chocolate =) thanks for the company.. the day was full of ups and downs.. ended in happiness. =) thanks.

theres a test tml.. and guess its gonna be a long day. got shit to clear. had to sacrifice celebrating ppl's bday. wow. R vs PI.

==

manage my thoughts. =)

==

.tim *the present*

161209 - watiting.

compensation paper in the morning.. pretty ok.. my gastric pains almost killed me.. had double patty straight away after the paper.. supposed to have a meeting but the subject wasnt ard.. went to class.. whitney and cheryl started taking pic.. so ya, join in.. bpo tut, who's listening again? haha. TEP awards.. its boring. lame. whats the use of the cert when so many ppl have it? relative worth.

waited in sch till abt 6 to have a short meeting over a specific subject matter.. saw yh while waiting so sat tgt to chat and catch up.. started thinking lot and ya.. swing swing... well.. the needle is found. and i had a moment of truth. so now how am i goin to progress... am i supposed to be on 24/7 standby? erm, reality check, i don stay in NYP hostel. ummm.. dono la dono la. otw home, war brewed in thou skull. alot alot of tots. my decision is this for now. for the better. its time. so much to decide. i have my tots.

i am having a prediction. it feels logical and real. hoping it will not happen just will not work.. taking too much precaution may back fire.. contingency plans. you just have to trust! i keep telling myself tat. and i will continue to do it. for the better. =) action speaks. others can feel.

test on friday. 5 lectures. all the best. good nites.

.tim *smile*

151209 - Emo-tional. bye IB.

i am doin wat i can do already. its not like i don wan to help. i HAVE been doing alot of things. i go back to that dark room hoping it will appear. i really wonder.. who might be doing this. you hate me so much ar? thanks ar. even if its personal, don drag other ppl into the picture la.. -.- ok. i shall not assume anything.. but but.. its not funny lo.. during this test and project week.. u have to leave the class to do stuff, ans phone blah blah blah.. its not fun at all.. oh where oh where.. oh where might thou be.. please come back.. i am giving myself a time check. i am washing my hands.

on the other hand. bye IB. had to live on mentos jus to get myself hyper.. -.- sorry girls, i know i crazy.. i shall not scream and shout and jump ard for no reason.. haha.. Ms Ang said my group's topic was good in a way and bad in a way.. bad cuz for 3/4 of it she was thinking abt the link.. cuz its abit bias.. WHO ASK SOUTH KOREA TO BE SO SUCCESSFUL? haha.. lucky she said, the conclusion was good.. i phew on the SPOT. at least its done and over with for now.. thanks for the red tie.. it breezed me thru the ppt..

compensation ica1 tml. shdnt be too bad since the focus is clear lect 1-5 mcq, 3 casestudy.. should be able to =) i shall eat my chocolate. and look for my lollipop. and hide under my blanket to study. =( umm.. moody~

.tim *faith*

141209 - irritated

topic 1

today is an irritating day... stop askinggggggggggggggggg... i am doing wat i can already... give time can? hello? i still got sch can. i know u need the tings. but wait la.. there's a certain reporting process we have to follow. be patient abit can? ok.. i am so wanting to wash my hands already. tsk. i have ppt tml! how to have meeting.. argh... and im the last group, sure overrun.. i don want! slice me into 2 la.. half ppt half meet. =.=

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topic 2

i am disappointed in u. to think u shd be more matured. but u are not. althou im not the main subject matter.. but wat i feel is, omg. u are such an idiot.. i wan to wake u up.. but i dono how. maybe u might not agree with my tots.. but u are a guy. do the right thing la...

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topic 3

some ppl are so childish. no balls. no nehs. not happi come la. don do it behind. got prob don wan solve.. then still ACT frenly.. HAVE A STAND CAN? keeping quiet doesnt mean i dono.. doing nth doesnt mean im letting u step over.. like i say.. im neutral.. i let do wat pleases u.. step over and i'll retaliate..

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topic 4

am i too nice? a stranger on the street asked me for money to take train... and i gave.. he look decent, maybe he lost his wallet or wat... oh well... anyway, when ppl need help.. i always try go and help.. when i need help? how many ppl will help u? onli i know who are my supportive frens lo.. don worry. i wont forget u.. i said this since pri sch.. and i will say it again.. u nice to me, i nicer to u.. u bad to me, i evil to u...

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i ha ice cream cake.. yum yum.. hee hee.. =D walked ard.. and i finally got tat box! i am clearing those things away... ummm.. enough for the day.. tml will be a long day. hais. jy!

.tim *faith hope trust*

131209 - mind control

today's a bored bored bored day... i slept alot.. at least, i caught up with slp.. i clean the hse.. and did my project... i haven study thou... haha.. my table is still half packed.. omg. i am so lazy can?! had yong tao fu for lunch and for dinner.. not bad.. today i got family day... at home.. its been awhile since we sat tgt to eat... haha... but but but! i wan eat ice cream.. i wan eat chocolate.. dark chocolate! i wan eat laksa... i wan new earphones.. i wan my ipod touch... i wan new phone.. i wan more clothes.. i wan this i wan tat.. its endless rite.. haha.. okok... im fine with them or without them.. most impt.. i know i have someone i can always depend on.. =) tats all i need.. rich or poor, i am still like this... happi =) materialist me has been replaced.. cuz cuz.. =) shhh...

anyway.. my needle is still missing.. irritating leh.. appear leh... dear ghost of G301, i think u had enough fun... next time then play can? thank you.. and and.. aiyo.. stop asking le la.. i explain until i give up... i say i will update once i get any update... and i don like it leh.. don ask me to do stupid things can? not i selfish or wat la but you are so irritating can... give me a break la... i am so wanting to wash my hands in the golden basin... 2 words for u. irritating irritant. ha ha.

==

happy also one day, sad also one day... u choose.. its the way u see things.. open up and see beyond ur sight. hear it, feel it, taste it. there more happiness ard then you think there is. smile.

==

.tim *i want u more then anything =) with u, im the happiest guy on earth*

busy busy slpy slpy stressy stressy

the past week has been, TIRING! but quite fruitful. =) i had fun in the midst of all these stresses. 3 papers for the week. IHRM, okok.. =) BPO, after 5 hrs of muggin in the library. okok. MCAD - cant be bothered. problem!

i've been falling aslp everywhere i go.. haha.. and clement slps with his eyes open.. scary right... lebin knows it best. busy week... but i enjoyed it.. it was fun.. thou stress.. had fun bitching ard with my lecturers and classmates... takes the stress away for awhile.. let alone my wonderful frens who accompany me thru the long stressful nites.. great company. great food. i am happy.

upcoming, tuesday IB ICA1, wed COMPEN ica 1, friday SOQM ica 1 and SOQM project survey. monday driving test. tue medical. we MCAD proj... i am quite packed. hold on tight.. its gonna be a tough ride.

==

you are too much. finding a needle in the haystack. i am gonna wash my hands in the golden basin

==

.tim *u make me smile*

one big thank you.

Concert is over. =) thank you one and all for all ur efforts and dedication. thank you to my frens for being understanding during this period. thank you my friends for helping me when i need you most. thank you for putting up with my nonsense. thanks. one big thank you! =) thanks.

upcoming. testS. project. driving test. open house. im taking a 2 weeks break from band to focus on sch work. after tat. its back to band.. jan will be crazy.. its major projects month. oh man.. when can i get to enjoy my fast few mths in sch.. haha...

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i have lotsa tots running in my head now.

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.tim *i'm adapting*

i am goin crazy. ahh!

concert tml.

.tim *imyimyimyimyimyimyimyimyimyimyimyimyimy! iwyiwyiwy*

坏人

.tim *sighs*

坏人

.tim *sighs*

maybe i have given up

everything is not going too well.. i have ran out of motivation for anything already... im just gonna do wat i need to do.. one person.. selfish.. well.. no one cares anyway... 5 projects.. 1 test.. tell me wat to do... lost, fragmented. maybe i have given up.. its ok... no one cares.

Proper post

okay.. let me recalled wat happened ytd..

went to sch.. lessons was so so so boringgggggggg. i skipped IB and compensation.. compensation leh... one my of favorites. =( ms tan was asking where was i.... anyway.. was moving the stuff to audi.. the usual.. concert is in a few daysssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

last nite's pract was so tiring lo... omg. after moving.. i was like pffft. already.still pract for 4 hr.. haha.. went for dinner.. was so full! haha.. i was like.. im so lazy to move.... im so lazy to eat... haha.. i dono wat i blogging also. oh ya. tat z in you is still so irritating.

BYE

011209 - Shag is an understatement

i am so tired today. sch. then i had to skip lessons to move stuff to the audi. so slow.. and hot! argh.... then pract.. 4 hrs of playingggggggggggggggggggggggggg... so hot.. so tired... my joints are all cuiiiiiiiiiiiiii! i am shagggggggggggg. and achingggggggggggg. and worried abt lessonssssss... went for dinner after band. =D and home... the next few days will be SHAG-ingly, irritating. oh ya.. tat z in you is still as irritating.

hope everything go well tml.. i will blog properly tml.... i hope i got the time. nites...................

.tim *can i slp on u? haha*

301109 - falling in place. falling apart.

definitely a long day today. sch. boring. rushed home for driving. HE FORGOT TO BOOK MY CIRCUIT! i wasted my time driving on the road for 2 hrs. wth. sit until my butt pain. =( drove to sch. ordered food. put up posters. hais... no appetite. i am upset with alot of things. SENSE OF URGENCY? 4 more days! where is the sense of urgency? don last min again. i HATE it I HATE!. tsk. oh ya.. and the Z in u is so irritating. argh! everything please go well for the rest of the week.

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Falling in place.

slowly, everything is taking its respective place. its a sooner or later thing. im still stressed up with unfinished business. but it will all fall into place.. i have faith. =) tml will go well. yes it will.

Falling apart.

as u focus on one. u neglect another. my studies is worrying me. im gonna miss 3 weeek of IB in total. =( hais. sorry frens. wait for me. after this concert i will come back to u =). sorryyyyyyyy. lastly.. im falling apart. can u sit there and play ur flute until u get so dizzy it worries you? alot of other things in my life is not goin too well.. slowly.. i will get a hold of them.. slowlyyyyyyyyyyyy..

deep down inside.

i have so much to say. so much i wanna do. was looking forward. hmmm. faster please. faster... i feel i might just explode soon.

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.tim *put my tots into words and it paints a picture*