301209 - New Hair? Locked in

went for a haircut today. now i look likeof cuz its the uglier version but in short.. its quite short yet long.. and i think i want it shorter... soon.. soon.. ha ha ha.. anyway.. meet up with my fren and went back to sch.. i told him not to be shocked and he saw me and commented.. u think u korean ar? then i ehh.. no.. i just went there and say i wan a very short hair.. then i closed my eyes.. haha.. anyway.. i was locked up in the sportshall.. like wth? its not even 10 and im locked in... watever. anyway.. i said alot of things today.. can say.. i feel better yet i don feel too good.. like middle middle.. not here not there.. i dono.

i don feel like goin out for lunch outing tml.. maybe i shouldn't... shd i go club tml? ha ha ha.. watever... maybe i shd cut my hair shorter tml..

.tim *not hoping for much. still, i want u*

i boarded the new train.

i saw this on disney channel.

time to prepare. i am GOIN FOR A HAIR CUT! this time for real.

GOODBYE.

.tim

291209 - piece it back tgt

i had popeye's today. =) thank you! Currently sneezing away.. =( anyway. your life. your responsibility. its time to piece it back tgt.. if angel happens to help.. good for u.. if not, u still have to do it.. one challenge, one plus point, one more puzzle piece. paint your own picture.

reminder to self :"don expect anything. anything can happen"

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faith hope trust. dictionary? brain? heart?

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.tim *i still cried otw home in the end*

Another day.. Another New Beginning...

was it just a dream or was it all too real?

uncertain of the path. blurred by obstacles..

but press on.. ur pot of gold awaits you.

.tim *ehh! i miss you! so much!*

281209 - drifts

nth interesting today. lunch with sec sch classmate and he was late! headed to sch.. self pract a little.. i think i shall do it more often. band was okay? bro came to help.. thats one thing off my load.. phew.. thanks.. am now home.. eating my cake for dinner. cake is a nice thing.. it makes u smile but ice cream and chocolate still work best...

browse thru my picture folder, fb.. alot of memories.. i miss the holidays.. i miss the old sch days..

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sometimes u wonder why are u the one doing all these.. its amazing how a tot of it can change ur mood... sometimes u just feel so USED. is this wat they call FFB? oh.. the projects i have to do..

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.tim *i'm finding my answer*

New Day, New Beginning

Brand new day, Brand new start.

Time to prepare for school.

*My Mask*

its been a roller coaster ride today... im very very tired.. 我真的好累了。。好累。。

tml will be a better day thou i know wat i have to do.. i tried to smile =) i will try again tml..

im tired.. good nite..

tender loving care from up above

some ppl ask me how can u be so nice to ppl who hurt u? i have been asking tat but i dono why.. maybe i just like to do it.. im brought up this way.. tats jus me. went posting letters with mummy.. and she told me this.. which i cannot stop laughing...

"today morning, ur daddy was doin the usual.. smoking at the balcony befor his daily business.. then i made him his brandy creme coffee.. then he said this to me... " wa, (mummy's name), u take very good care of me hor.." then i feel so happy the whole day"

i cannot stop laughing... haha.. its amazing how a small sentence can make someone so happy for so long... of cuz i have my moments. i think its true.. i learnt to do this from up above...

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part 2

"sometimes ur daddy scold u all for nth rite, is not he want... is cuz he work.. then stress and pek chek... he also don like to scold u all.. he cares alot abt you kids also... see, every sunday.. he will stock up the fridge and cook ur favorites.. so when he is unreasonable.. u all must uds... don get upset... left year in right ear out.."

haha.. its true i guess.. give and take.. try to uds... cuz afterall.. these are the ppl u can rely on... as for ur frens... u decide urself... i always complain alot.. but in the end.. i will do it.. cuz if u can help.. just help.. cuz if u are in need of help.. u wish they will be there for u too rite?

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every relationship is a dedicate unique balance... give and take.. understanding and tolerance.. love and care... faith and trust.. hope and sweetness... theres so much in it... happiness and sadness.. its part of it... how long it last lies in ur hands.... maintain it...

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.tim *we will still be as loving if not more loving 1 yr, 10 yrs, 100 yrs down the road.*

271209 - love your enemy

nth much today. went amk for a stroll. theres pop's eye there.. =) currently in a moodless mood as per the last few days. so very sian..

love your enemy.. u must be thinking i mad already rite? nope.. im crazy but i think this is a good idea.. how can u find peace if u urself ain't peaceful at all? no matter wat.. its a vicious cycle isn't it? if someone does sth nasty and mean to you, and u do it back. then that person do it to u again.. then when is this goin to end.. both of u get more and more hurt isn't it? this is one of the reason why sometimes i just keep quiet. its not tat i don't care or im nice to bully.. its just i think its pointless to do anything. ha.ha.

.tim *i want to put tat smile back on ur face again*

261209 - Tuaygi Tuki

rainy cold day. eat and eat. slept alittle. tot alot. watched “妻子的诱惑”.

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watching the DVD, u feel life is unfair. why are there always these ppl. who just wanna ruin ur life. have they nothing better to do? if i could. i would erase them away.. reading some things makes me feel so ??? of cuz im upset.. but im more hurt... u actually wrote tat. and it's pointless to ask u to del it or anything.. wat's happened already happened.. let it be..

time and time again.. there has been many rumors abt me.. scandals.. silly ones.. serious ones.. nonsensical ones.. there was even one abt me quiting sch and migrating. when will they stop? its silly isnt it.. and others actually believe.. i have no comments.

no matter how you feel. happi or sad. angry or calm. u know who will be there for you. deep down inside.. small actions. treasured feelings. only you know. actions speaks louder then words.

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.tim *will u take me on a holiday? away from all these challenges?*

clear the air

cleared with the person.. but then start another tot of mind.. why is tat things like this always happen when a particular person is there? suspicious rite? haha.. yet.. nth is mentioned here. no names were ever mentioned.. =) smile... this particular person. THANKS! u are such a *toot*.

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i have my tots. 1 years ago, u did this..this year, u do it again to me.. just that the other person changed. wat have i even done to u? haha. guess it just pleases u to see me suffer rite... karma ok.

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.tim

251209 - don't think so much.

241209 - kite

woke up quite earli to prepare some food for sentosa.. sorry for being late.. really didnt mean to.. anyway.. run ard, played. tried to fly my kite but no wind.. aww... overall.. i am happy.. =) had dinner out went home rest awhile and met the rest at cityhall.. again.. sorry for being late.. thanks for waiting.. headed to esplanade to chill.. and i knocked out eventually cuz i was too tired.. cabbed home.. merry christmas.

251209 - don think so much

sent my day at home slping away in the end.. so much idle time = more time to think. which is bad. anyway.. merry chirstmas everyone. =) hope u had a great one.

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wat would u do when u are accused but am innocent? was it just a miscommunication or has the wordS of mouthS changed the whole picture? clear conscious. watever it is. do as u please.

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.tim

231209 - Tiring!

had project in the morning. chat with jiamin after tat.. haha.. abt band.. and her band seniors.. and my band.. memories... went taka to shop.. wanted to get a wallet but ya... don waste money ar.. my wallet still so new.. haha... travelled ard.. and went back to vch for philyouth concert... its not bad u know... i like 3rd symphony's 3rd movement.. so EMOTIONAL... can feel the emotions building up.. mac and homed.

tml is kite day! yes! and after tat is Esplanade tonning! i have life ok! who wan come? haha. ok.. the current mass convo with gerri, janey, benny, sarri, raywee, jasony has made me all crazy.. who wan join us for tonning sms me! ask me for details. lai.. all invited... its a all merry christmas!

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i realise alot of things today again.. haha.. kite day.. let the wind bring you far far away.. good bye.

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.tim *umm hmm =D*

GO AWAY. LEAVE ME ALONE

JUST GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE.

I HATE SCH. I HATE WAT I NEED TO PUT UP WITH. I HATE MY JOB.

GO AWAY. U STUPID IRRITATING IRRITANT.

WTH.

BYE. ASSHOLE

221209 - i feel so N-ed

woke up earli. went for medical. i tot i was late.. so cabbed from queensway mrt.. wth.. i wasnt.. i had to wait so long.. anyway.. went home after tat.. EAT alot and slp... woke up.. went to chinatown with mummy... while exploring the area.. i had a flash back... i use to walk along the linkway between OG and people's park.. last time, theres this toy uncle.. and i always stand there and stare at the toys.. i sometimes miss being a kid.. i want to eat ice cream. i wan to fly kite.

theres alot of time to slp and think today.. it seems like a long day.. and as im blogging now.. i see 1111... oh well... proj tml. concert in the evening...

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R vs PI, when will it all end?

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.tim *staring out. waiting.*

211209 - bad day.

not a good day. my phone kept ringing... its the same old responsibility vs personal interest. and still.. my responsibilities got the better of me.. hais. upset! anyway, went home and ate alot and slept. like a pig. woke up.. drag myself to sch.. set up the band room as usual and i think i pulled my nerve. my should pain =( and i cant reach. oh well.. band was....

up earli tml. travelling to a dreadful place..

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wat else you want? i guess its not time yet... tolerance and patience.. even if it means sacrificing everything else.. hasnt it been like this? i guess tats my life. haha..... when will i finally find my box full of double chocolate hello panda with chocolate cream in every panda biscuit?

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.tim *i am sad but i don wan to show it*

201209 - bye weekends.

zoom. weekends are gone! sat driving.. it was great! everything was quite ok.. except i stalled 3 times.. nah.. nth big.. im confident already! often, we are who we think we are and what we can do. so i shall think tat way =) went home to freshen up b4 meeting halif for jon's xmas.

halif was late! anyway.. he said im a rose in the bed of thorns? o.0 haha... and the you tiao. went to jon's and left after while.. went shopping! i got a new shirt. yays. went out for late nite dinner and home.

sunday.. wa.. woke up damn earli... am so shagged now.. church, lunch. met fian. hello dey, u said 2 lo.. walked ard while waiting, i could even file my nails. strolled from douby to raffles to meet him. i rmb how to walk! thanks to the someone who teach me! haha.. had lunch again at ms which sucked. got some stuff and left for vch. yuhua in concert. not bad. first time thou.. steel drums were interesting. waited. dinner at macs and home. last train last bus. i was lucky today. =)

.tim *i am willing. my glimpse of sunshine*

181209 - GG SOQM, Holidays!

Lesson at 8! omg. imagine dragging urself to sch.. i slept 3/4 of the train ride.. i slept standing up -.-.. anway, not many came.. thanks ms tan for the hashbrown and laugther.. =) lecture ended at 12. studied in the library. did some band stuff.. and ya.. here comes the paper... and i was so tired and pfft.. didnt study much... wa... the things i study nv come out leh.. the things i didnt came out.. omg! first time spot wrong qn.. maybe too tired.. GG, maybe a 60%? sadded.

rush to finish up my band worked.. then left to celebrate jolie's bday in advance.. woo.. time to save! getting tight.. but yay! hols are here.. on the bright side.. i can have a break.. time to let go abit.. time for a break.. =D study.. rmb.. study.. driving tml morning! last lesson! then goin to my fren's place for advance xmas in the evening. wonder who i will meet there.. haha. yup.. tiring day.. slp earli. new straight soft bed sheets! thanks mummy!

.tim *Jiayou! you can do it! i'm here, supporting you all the way*

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its time to let go. its time to loosen those tense muscle. its time to wash it off. time to be like the little kitten. smileeeeeeeee. =D

171209 - part 3

long long day. having slept for less then 4 hrs. dragged myself up for the 8 am lesson.. everyone was still slping when i left. =( i want to say. attending miss tan's lesson was not bad.. at least it puts my mind away from other tots for tat period.. and i can just laugh it off.. im sorry i had to leave the class to do band stuff again.. i'll arrange a better system.. tml theres a ms tan's laughaton session at 8 tml.. i shall go.. and pull my mind away...

decided to skip MCAD lecture again.. went home.. took a 10 min nap.. and got summon to pass the key... and i was late to meet my fren... sorry.. had a few laughs with everyone b4 goin our seperate ways.. Ramdan was pretty amusing.. miss the show.. went for another one.. had prata and cake b4 that.. chocolate =) thanks for the company.. the day was full of ups and downs.. ended in happiness. =) thanks.

theres a test tml.. and guess its gonna be a long day. got shit to clear. had to sacrifice celebrating ppl's bday. wow. R vs PI.

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manage my thoughts. =)

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.tim *the present*

161209 - watiting.

compensation paper in the morning.. pretty ok.. my gastric pains almost killed me.. had double patty straight away after the paper.. supposed to have a meeting but the subject wasnt ard.. went to class.. whitney and cheryl started taking pic.. so ya, join in.. bpo tut, who's listening again? haha. TEP awards.. its boring. lame. whats the use of the cert when so many ppl have it? relative worth.

waited in sch till abt 6 to have a short meeting over a specific subject matter.. saw yh while waiting so sat tgt to chat and catch up.. started thinking lot and ya.. swing swing... well.. the needle is found. and i had a moment of truth. so now how am i goin to progress... am i supposed to be on 24/7 standby? erm, reality check, i don stay in NYP hostel. ummm.. dono la dono la. otw home, war brewed in thou skull. alot alot of tots. my decision is this for now. for the better. its time. so much to decide. i have my tots.

i am having a prediction. it feels logical and real. hoping it will not happen just will not work.. taking too much precaution may back fire.. contingency plans. you just have to trust! i keep telling myself tat. and i will continue to do it. for the better. =) action speaks. others can feel.

test on friday. 5 lectures. all the best. good nites.

.tim *smile*