260110 - getting the better of me.

time for therapy... don read it if u think its redundant.. i just need to rant.

another day. little slp. rush project onli to know it has been changed again.. now i have to redo it again. =( tired. hr seminar was ok. .learnt sth.. had to trouble to ask ms tan for help with my other projects.. thank you.. band was good.. sounded real nice.. emotional. cuz its my last practice as a band member and a president. the next time i step in, i will be alumni. i want to post abt my 2.5 yrs in band. not now.. but i will.. after these projects.

proj proj proj. tut tut tut... other things... it makes me wanna put my hands up in despair and say.. i really give up.. its the time when i am most emotional and i will tend to be oversensitive and think too much.. for now, i know i will be so.. and i will be grumpy.. just bear with me for awhile.. chinese new year is coming... and its 4 days after my project submission. i really have no time.. give me money also no use... i have no time to shop.. its the time of your life when u say.. i wish there was someone here to accompany you and support u thru all these "shit"... i really dono wat happened to me.. im so damn emotional lately.. wth is wrong man.. wat happen to ME! i know i can do this.. i use to be able to.. i need to find myself back.. thou i still don rely on others.. but like i said many times before.. every successful man has a supportive wife or whoever that person is.. i tired to recall who was this person.. and i have my ans..

im sorry to all my frens if u think i change.. i am no longer myself.. i don mean to walk pass u without noticing u... i really dont. i don mean to ignore wat u said... i really didnt hear.. i don mean to be grumpy or emotional or whatsoever.. just bear with me.. ignore me if cannot stand me... for i am alone in this.. i know.. for now i am.. theres only me left to help myself.. im not being pessimistic.. don rely on others.. maybe this is why i decided to throw my phone. sorry phone.. i don mean to abuse u.. i really am giving up in many aspects of my life.. i said this to someone.. its like the icing to ur life.. it makes ur life nicer and sweeter.. without it, thou its more difficult but u still live.. i am counting down to the day i say. NO MORE PROJECTS! i must bring myself out to relax. if not, who will? those who don uds u and add probs to u and are not impt ppl.. let them go.. u have too much to handle for now.. if they are really ur frens.. they will be understanding enough and will support u... just a willingness issue

i must manage my time. i must manage my derailed life. i must SCORE well for school. i must continue to be a good son. i must and i will. how? i dono, i will fine tune it on the way.. for now.. jy timmi.. u can do this.. yes! after all these. i will buy myself an itouch or iphone as a reward. my self motivational reward. maybe go on a holiday.... save up tim! since u won be hungry when u are stress.. since u have no time to shop for cny clothes. since u have no blah blah blah.. i will stop.

.tim*sometimes i just wish this particular u is really non imaginary and here to support me*