went for a great breakfast/lunch/dinner at swensens. i enjoyed my sundae alot. off to meet the rest at jp. walked aimlessly to safra. chat. back jp. starbucks till closing. home.
im just goin to blah out everything without any tots. don read it if u're easily offended.
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A Beautiful Mess.
Have you ever been in such a mess? you don't know what you want. you are not in a mood for everything. you are just, entertaining. accommodating to everyone. and its been ok but somehow or rather, things go bad. and bad. and bad.. suddenly..
all you want is just peace and simple, humble living.. but it's just not gonna happen. like... lets talk abt RS. over the years. how many have you missed cuz of theBIGpicture? how many gone wrong? how many saved? its like.. everything seems to be your fault suddenly.. and to simplify things.. ya lo.. my fault.. fullstop.. i'm starting to think im damn dum lo.. WHY DO THINGS FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE YOU SO MUCH? yea.. dum indeed.
when u talk abt being selfish. its time to think abt me now.. after awhile.. its back to how others wanna do.. as simple as dragging yourself out to accompany your fren when you yourself have things to do.. or ain feeling tat good urself.. u think.. aiya, nvm la.. i can do it once im home.. then u go out and acc ppl. try ur best to keep tat person entertained.. thinking of new things.. as much as putting ur personal interest at stake just so that everyone can have fun.. its like.. i don even complain.. i don see a need to.. yes im patient and i know i don have to go to the extend but i just don see a need to kick up a fuss. don go too far.
ups and downs.. keeping it all within and pretending like nth happen.. and when u are tired.. u just wanna not do anything abt it.. then ppl come and say.. aiya.. act one la.. ya ya.. act act act... star awards la.. left ear in right ear out. simplify.
there comes a time when u decide to take a break.. and when u return.. u try to make things right.. then it gets worse.. u try B. and there goes the vicious cycle. its like a never ending whirlpool.. always sucking u into the soup.. its like.. one fine day. u just wanna go MIA. cuz afterall.. these are superficial. I HAVE MADE UP MY MIND.
stop waiting for sth which u foresee as a no hope situation.. stop wasting your time. go find the right one. or rather.. go enjoy ur life. stop living in misery.. only you can walk urself out of it.. god help those who help themselves.
selfish.jerk.asshole. Whatever. you happy can already.
its time to seek my happiness, my way. it shall be all hard now. its not like i dono wat's happening.. its not like i dono who i like. its a matter of if i wanna do anything abt it. BYE world.
.the L issue is still unsettled.
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.tim *i guess it's not gonna happen liao. just sitting down, watching you doing daily chores *