deep tots

what have the boy been doin today?

thinking and more thinking... have been mood swinging since last nite.

i think alot alot alot... many many tots..

today's a rotten mood day for me...

decided to meet up with some of my frens.. hoping to distract myself...

but i think even more... maybe cuz the subject wasnt there for me...

this was wat i concluded.

========================

when you are down, whos there for u?

when u need someone the most, whos there for u?

who is the person who really understand u.

who is the person who u can trust.

whos can be your eyes, your ears, your support?

who can you rely on?

many other qns pop out... these are just some...

for 19 years of my life... friends come and go... i lived thru it...

once a while, my little guardian angel appears and walk me thru my darkest times.

and today, when my sunshine and rainbow when on holiday..

the person who i want to be with wasnt there...

i dono how to react now... im back to the old self... its again, me myself and i.

i like to think think think. i like to bottle it up.

sometimes, i just don feel like talking... maybe cuz its beyond words.

and sometimes, its nice to have someone who really uds u to be there for u.

know how to cheer u up.. but today... i saw myself thru. me myself and i.

oh well... emo tots again... tats y i decided to add a rainbow to my blog... hopefully, it cheers me up.

.tim

*where were you?*

Relationships

Relationships,
to me, it revolves around 4 key attributes.
1) Paitence
2) Understanding
3) Trust
4) Maintainance

no matter wat happens in a relationship, one has to be paitent and understanding.. and put oneself in the other's shoes and u'll see why they acted that way. sometimes, in a moment of folly, we may sprout insensitive remarks.. humans are humans, we make mistakes... sometimes selfishness overtakes humanity.. ur frens may become selfish-er.. and all u do is to hate them.. have u tot of why this happen? does the friendship between you over the years mean nth? things happen for a reason, choose not to blame but to solve and support.

Trust is very important. no matter wat are the rumours flying around.. no matter wat u think he or she is doin. u should always trust ur fren. isnt that the way things shd be? why should be believe others and spoilt ur wonderful frenship? lols.. things tat i don uds... rumours are rumours.. see for urself to believe... even if its true, there must be a reason tat it happened.. lols...

so wat if u have a wonderful fren.. if u don maintain it... it will be gone soon... haha... relationship is jus like a balancing scale... its a joint effort to balance it.. gif and take... do unto others wat u wan others to do unto u.. but don expect a return for u will be sad if u do get it.. but if u don expect it and u got it.. it comes as a suprise.. isnt it better? lols...

==================================

many a times we see our frens having probs.. but theres onli so much we can do... haha... oh well.. i kinda dono wat im blogging le..

-tim-

*imyhrtwj...*

Holland! (:

hello everyone...

hows life? heard that its like hot in singapore now... hmm.. its kinda hot ytd too.. but today its quite cold... like aircon lo... abit lower ba.. haha... but still.. we're wearing shorts and all... lols..
hmm... everything here is okok ba... practice eat and practice or shop... theres really nth much to shop for... the majority in the town are like.. elderly... so ya.. nth much lo.... but they have nice scenery.. (:

hmm... actually its kinda tired being a leader... haha.. sometimes u wish u could jus let everything go and like.. be a normal person.. all i wan is jus to be a normal person and enjoy my life... haha... and shittiness lo... so many projs... when im away... and if suay suay i got quarrentined i will die a terrible death... really badly... haha.... oh well.. we'll play by the ear ba... hmm... i miss so many ppl... daddy mummy jiejie didi korkor... my other band frens, my classmates and like frens and my Babyy!!!

hmm.. competition is like in 2 days? omg.. scary eh... JYJY!!! we must get the gold.. haha...

hmm.. tim is signing off le ba.. its like.. my bed time.. 1 am already...

.tim
*babyy... i miss u so much... jus a few more days babyy.... imy ily iwy... (:*

hello everyone.

in a few hrs time. tim will be away... for 10 days.. cut off from singapore communications... tats so sad... so so sad... haha...

i was packing whole nite... and like.. ok.. my luggage like so empty can.. omg.. like i forget to bring alot of things like tat... hmm.. how sia...

anyway... projects are stil hanging.. hais.... how sia! tsk! i don wan to be a free loader... tats so irritating... i don wan to be an irritating burden.. lols..

hmm.. dono wat to write le ba... tats all..

take care eveyrone.. i m goin to miss u all...

*hrtwj, please take good care of yourself! thou we are distants apart... but we're right beside each other.. staring at the same sky*

flying soon

haha... yup... todays is like sat already.. and im flying tml..
and i stil have not packed...

oh well.. haha.. do it later ba...

hmm... ytd i screamed at the band.. lol.. sorry... i think i was kinda worked up ba.... not feeling too well too... hmm...=)

anyway... hope things will go well...

tats all fornow... shall blog again later...

byebye...

*ilyb*

wandering thinking reflector

its been a busy day today...
had sch... but its like as if i wasnt there at all... i nv study.. at all! whole day have been thinking and thinking...

maybe trying ur best is not good enough... theres always 101 things to do... ppl say just keep trying and trying... but sometimes.. u try so hard... but they jus don wan to move! wat shd u do then? i carn possibly give up rite? just keep pushing and pushing...

haha... like... i dono how to say lo... maybe it all boils down to me... im not doin a good job ba... its like... maybe i shd have been firmer and stick to my initial plans... wouldnt cause so much trouble for everyone.. and now im like, goin to cause sth bad to happen... wat if nv get it? its in my hands tat this has happen... i need solutions... how how how... talking and motivating jus don work.. go the hard way? how hard shd it be.. the limit? not much time left... there onli so much u can do now... PLEASE let things be better... im running out of brain cells le... i don wan to freak out in the middle of the nite again.. i don wan to be paranoid... i want to trust them! they can do it.. yes they can! i shall give it another shot! i trust i believe.. when u believe it, u will see it...

5 more days... wat shd i do.... what do i have to do... wat will i do...

haha... u know... my stomach is so pain now i can sit up straight... and guess wat... my nose bleed... LOL too heaty le ba... shall drink more water...

*i wan to tell u but i don wan u to worry... its jus like tat [ ] u see... carn be put into words*

hello (:
today is saturday... like in 1 week's time i will be byebye in the plane le... haha.. well.. the pass few days was quite hectic as expected... alot to do alot alot to do... hmm... ytd sth bad happen... and i panicked... and like left abit earlier.. i think i was like white face red eyes? scary... haha.. fortunately i had wonderful exco who i can trust...

oh well.. today i woke up at 645? haha... then slp then wake then slp.. till 11? woke up use comp.. eat lunch and do my entre website... more or less done le ba... =) its simple.. hope its ok ba.. haha.. lalalala... tim ar tim... u still got alot more projects to do and test to study hor hor.. rmb rmb.. list them down..

EnIR
CRM ICA 3
CRM ICA 4
WHP
HBO
HRD
Entre

i don wan to be a free loader hor! i wan do my part! roar!!!! but im gone for like 2 weeks.. with no internet!!! aiyo! how how how!!!! i must do sth abt it... think! tim think!!!!

oh ya... next week everyday band.. onli tuesday free but ya.. end at 6... haha.. not much of a rest day... think i will go practice my part ba... hmm...
oh ya.. thursday 16th july.. FTT 415... haha.. haven even touch the book.. DIE! haha... and yes... i still gotta pack my lagguage! omg... omg omg omg.. haha... siao ar...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

its been a mth of ups and downs...

but im happy abt it..

i see my rainbow from afar...

its a journey i choose...

i live it.. the way i wan.. (:

happi 1 mth babyy.

.tim

yet another sleepless nite

haha! yes.. yet another slpless nite! omg! can feel the weight of my eye lids..
ytd was a hectic day... rush ard.. hmm.. u know.. for the first time... i fell aslp during CRM Lab! omg.. first time! haha... its either the video is boring or im jus too tired... haha.. i think its cuz im overworked... haha...

hmm.. sch ended at 6, rushed for dinner at koufu... the tasteless tom yam ramen.. think my taste buds decided to slp first.. haha.. rush to band room.. like make sure everything is taken care of.. haha.. u know.. ppl talk to me.. its like left in right out? i cannot uds or absorb... OMG... first time.. oh well..
so yup.. i ran between band room and business block.. rushing my project and multitasking at band... haha.. i almost rolled down the stairs... almost... but nv.. =)

my friend got me brownies... its very very very nice okie! really... can feel the love... it got me thru the night ok... till now.. im still munching on it.. =) my motivation.. xD mad mad me... hmm.. went to macs after band and reach home like 1 am.. then chiong the stupid proj... hate it!

Hmm... i shd go prepare le ba... sch at 9.. omg! haha... so much to do.. so much to bring.. and im so slpy...

-zombie timmieboi-

*thanks for being there! -muacks! =)*

more time?

hello...
im back again.. just got home? and think i don need to slp le ba...
projects.. and more projects... hate it...

im flying in 2 weeks... i really have not enough time... schedule clashing... its been almost a mth... haven got a proper one... haha.. i kinda sad... hmm.. maybe one shd learn to listen harder? things loss it's intended meaning when its repeated.. like a joke.. first time is funni.. say a few more times.. it becomes lame... haha...

i really dono wat im thinking... im always on this roller coaster of ups and downs... now im at the down again... wat shd i do? wat am i really thinking? the mind is but an organ... a simple yet complicated one... its kinda having a war now... today is a war day for me... and sneeze sneeze.. its cold...

1 word for me... upset...

tim is signing off to shower and do his proj.. not planning to sleep.. so if u see him, please leave him alone... ty...

-timmieboi-

*i really dono wat to do already*

life is a learning journey

life is a learning journey...
we are learning everyday... today i learnt more about you.. thanks for being there... thanks for understanding... we're both learning... more abt you.. and more abt me... actions speaks louder then words.. but words are easier to understand... it takes time... i dont know everything.. if you dont tell me.. i'll nv know... jus like if i don tell u, u'll nv know.. so let's talk when we shd... haha... im happi really.. im glad theres u... the telepathy.. the co-incidence... they are unexplainable.. but i only know.. i have tat 5 words for u... with a left bracket and a colon....

-timmieboi-
*hrtwj... you're my sugar rush... (:*

konnichiwa...

today is a sunday... but i don feel sunny at all.. lol..

ytd went for NP concert with miki, denise, kesha and leon...

we saw fireworks during intermission... =) hmm... after tat wanted to go tou hua de.. but kesha and leon gtg.. so miki denise and me walk there.. like WALK u know.. and its so hot... navigated with gps and denise's brain...

omg... ytd i was totally imageless.... sugar rushed all nite long... talking nonsense... singing and whining.. its so not me! there goes my image... LOL... but ya... how often do u see it... hmm.. got sugar low after tat.. emo... haha.. tim is such a nonsense guy... i think everyone is scared of me like after last nite... "keep away" sign... =x

want to drop at AMK then take bus.. but! my ezlink when cash low... omg... so had to jus train straight to hougang instead... =/ oh well.. went home... wanted to do proj but cant concentrate.... yup.. waited and waited.. then decided to slp at 3?

hmm.. sch starting tml... tuesday presentation... like.. omg... hais... its goin to be a very stressful 2 weeks for me! hopefully i find time to meet up with the ppl i need and must meet... hopefully i rmb to pack my stuff... hmmm... shd be employing all possible help to get thru already ba...

-TiM-

anyway... im upset... haha... ok.. i know i shdnt be but.. im like tat wat.. i get jealous very easily ma.. u also know... then then.. like hais.. nvm la.. i don wan talk abt it le... *silently.. beyond words..*

Plan B

Sinfonique 09 is cancelled.
like omg? all the efforts... the planning.. the sleepless nites... everyone kinda put in so much and its cancelled... like.. SAD! but wat can we do... stupid H1N1... hate it... cause so much probs... SHOO SHOO! go away.. don come back... argh....

pack pack pack.. no concert but still got lotsa band pract in preparation for WMC... 2 more weeks! 2 mroe weeks to finish all my proj.. 2 more weeks to perfect my songs... 2 more weeks... jus 2 more... the last lap...

anyway.. today had montfort band BBQ... not bad la hor.. see alot of ppl that nv saw for quite some time le.. haha... quite fun la.. chat abit..

anyway.. today's mood is a roller coaster... i was home like 10 am? slept alittle.. then did work.. then bbq then find fren then home... i dono leh.. today's mood like abit sensitive? and jus got a feeling like my fren nv do the promised thing.. like have fun then forgot abt it already... and i dono watever im doing is rite anot... oh well... shall not think abt it ba... let fate decide... tim is hungry now.. he shall stop here...

-end of rubbish..-

*hrtwj... hais... forgot? / planned? / sianed?.. i really dono wat u are thinking... hais.. so sad*

im jus wondering wat will happen to someone who don slp alot everyday...
i wonder where is the limit... where is the crumbling zone...
i wonder wat will happen when all thing fails...
i wonder when will it all end
i wonder why i even get myself into it
i wonder if theres a time machine
i wonder i wonder....

i know wat to expect
i know wats to come
i know wats the outcome
i know i know

i do not want
i do not need
i do not seek
i do not anticipate

i need more time
i need some help
i need a break
i need myself and my babyy

oh well... thing are bad.. really bad... time to plan.. and plan again... the signs have to be ignore... don have much of a choice... i'll just let it crumble when it needs too... i'll just do the max i can.. and let fate take over...

-TiM signing off and not blogging for now.... take care all-

*hrtwj... so much to say... but just dont know how... the 3 letters say it all...*

Hello... =)
Im like sitting outside the band room now... haha.. came to sch to do work cuz tot i can concentrate... but like no use ar.. still quite distracted... haha... sot de eh..

anyway.. heres a nice video someone showed me... =)
oh well.. shall try to do work now... =)


*timmie loves his honey red tea with jelly... =)*

[someonesaveme!]

oh well.. things happen for a reason? but wat is it? things haven been going well.. like why why why?

its beyond my control... but can i do sth abt it? im trying very hard to stop it from happening.. but it just.. i cant do work.. carn think... carn focus... i need a remedy...

am i just too stress again? but isnt it term break? ain i supposed to be less stress? maybe theres jus too much to do ba... tim! =] bare with it...

i have to control myself... i have to.. i carn be doing wat i do now... i will go crazy soon... and i hate blood.. worse of all.. i don like to see you pek chek..
things will get better in time... =) smile tim... smile.... =)

[the unspoken]

hmm.. looks like its 1 more week added to term break... doesnt mean less things to do lo.. means more pack actually... haven been eating well or slping well since i got ill... haha... like im hungry now but dono wat to eat...

concert in 2 weeks eh.. omg... and in 3 weeks/ 23 more days im flying.... means i need to finish alot alot of things b4 i fly lo... omg... really omg... like not enough time.. seriously... ahh...

the unspoken... the quiet side... haha.. like no one really understands lo... trying very hard to do everything already but ya, its nv ending... and ppl onli see it as tat section of it but not as a whole... actually i also abit dono wat im typing... haha...

10 days... omg... 10 days leh... haha... think i can control la hor... i'll take it as my challenge... oh wait.. i dono wat im bloggin le... haha.. all the i wan to say de things i cannot say... oh well.. byebye ba.. haha.. blogg rubbish again.. spoil market.. later ppl scold me ar... =x

*unspoken... it will get better in time*

wat do u do when u feel helpless....
u have 1001 things to do.. and u are sick...
wat can u do?
wat can u do when u see ppl ard u falling sick and u cannto do anything abt it...
wat can do u when u have alot of obligations...
the amt of load carried is weighing me down...
all i wan is jus a simple life with my honey red tea with jelly
so diff meh.. haha.. tim moodswinging again.. jus ignore...

*i wan to be with you but i think its best i let u rest.. then u can faster ok... ily... my honey red tea with jelly*

so busy eh....

haha.. so many emails abt proj, gotta start doin them all le...
tim tim.. jyjy... still got concert... ahh!... so many things eh.. nv ending...

anyway.. i hurt myself accidentally... ahh... so much blood lo.. but not say very pain also.. haha... but now i very scared of the "piak" snap sound... >.<

oh welll... dono wat to blog le.. but not bad la.. this few days happi.. thou im falling sick.. but im still happi... haha..

*my honey red tea with jelly... i love u so much! im glad i have u by my side.. muacks.. *hugs* get well soon..*

Hello... =)
Im like sitting outside the band room now... haha.. came to sch to do work cuz tot i can concentrate... but like no use ar.. still quite distracted... haha... sot de eh..

anyway.. heres a nice video someone showed me... =)
oh well.. shall try to do work now... =)


*timmie loves his honey red tea with jelly... =)*

absolutely adorable pics.. lols..

here are some pics tat my frens drew for me over the few mths... ain they so cute? omg... ^^

alright.. so the hols are finally here.. but also no rest.. not much of a diff.. haha... cannot stand it... haha... proj.. band... frens... wow... chalet? dono will stay anot... haha... oh well.. tim tim.. accept it..

hmm... so much to do... projs.. concert... WMC... wow... hope everything goes well.. im so bored lo.... haha.. sian... always sian... i dono wat i blogging also... sitting at the back of the band room.... blogging.. haha... frens say.. "tim, u no life lo.. day day band..." haha... band geek.. =x

so bored.. i shall stop here.....

haha.. heres a pic i made... taken while in the plan to london on 13 july... haha... miss the time in vienna.. now its goin to be 1 mth and i will be goin to kekrade... hope it will be as enjoyable... =)

*i wish u would take me away... im so tired.... looking forward to my holidays.. thou u wont be there... haha.. its ok.. tim is always solo...*