311209 - byebye! Hello!

byebye 2009.

its a year full of alot lot lot lot of happenings, challenges, difficulties... of cuz i rmb all the fun i had.. the laughter the friends.. i made new frens.. i rmb them all.. i lost some frens.. one day i will get them back.. =) and of cuz.. BYE NIGHTMARE! u !@#$%^&.

anyway.. 2010 is here.. its gonna be a great, smooth, happening one.. i know it will be.. i made my resolutions.. =) forward 2010.. yay! simple yet memorable countdown.. actually one of the few i ever attended.. definitely one of the happy happy days.

.tim *=)*

301209 - New Hair? Locked in

went for a haircut today. now i look likeof cuz its the uglier version but in short.. its quite short yet long.. and i think i want it shorter... soon.. soon.. ha ha ha.. anyway.. meet up with my fren and went back to sch.. i told him not to be shocked and he saw me and commented.. u think u korean ar? then i ehh.. no.. i just went there and say i wan a very short hair.. then i closed my eyes.. haha.. anyway.. i was locked up in the sportshall.. like wth? its not even 10 and im locked in... watever. anyway.. i said alot of things today.. can say.. i feel better yet i don feel too good.. like middle middle.. not here not there.. i dono.

i don feel like goin out for lunch outing tml.. maybe i shouldn't... shd i go club tml? ha ha ha.. watever... maybe i shd cut my hair shorter tml..

.tim *not hoping for much. still, i want u*

i boarded the new train.

i saw this on disney channel.

time to prepare. i am GOIN FOR A HAIR CUT! this time for real.

GOODBYE.

.tim

291209 - piece it back tgt

i had popeye's today. =) thank you! Currently sneezing away.. =( anyway. your life. your responsibility. its time to piece it back tgt.. if angel happens to help.. good for u.. if not, u still have to do it.. one challenge, one plus point, one more puzzle piece. paint your own picture.

reminder to self :"don expect anything. anything can happen"

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faith hope trust. dictionary? brain? heart?

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.tim *i still cried otw home in the end*

Another day.. Another New Beginning...

was it just a dream or was it all too real?

uncertain of the path. blurred by obstacles..

but press on.. ur pot of gold awaits you.

.tim *ehh! i miss you! so much!*

281209 - drifts

nth interesting today. lunch with sec sch classmate and he was late! headed to sch.. self pract a little.. i think i shall do it more often. band was okay? bro came to help.. thats one thing off my load.. phew.. thanks.. am now home.. eating my cake for dinner. cake is a nice thing.. it makes u smile but ice cream and chocolate still work best...

browse thru my picture folder, fb.. alot of memories.. i miss the holidays.. i miss the old sch days..

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sometimes u wonder why are u the one doing all these.. its amazing how a tot of it can change ur mood... sometimes u just feel so USED. is this wat they call FFB? oh.. the projects i have to do..

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.tim *i'm finding my answer*

New Day, New Beginning

Brand new day, Brand new start.

Time to prepare for school.

*My Mask*

its been a roller coaster ride today... im very very tired.. 我真的好累了。。好累。。

tml will be a better day thou i know wat i have to do.. i tried to smile =) i will try again tml..

im tired.. good nite..

tender loving care from up above

some ppl ask me how can u be so nice to ppl who hurt u? i have been asking tat but i dono why.. maybe i just like to do it.. im brought up this way.. tats jus me. went posting letters with mummy.. and she told me this.. which i cannot stop laughing...

"today morning, ur daddy was doin the usual.. smoking at the balcony befor his daily business.. then i made him his brandy creme coffee.. then he said this to me... " wa, (mummy's name), u take very good care of me hor.." then i feel so happy the whole day"

i cannot stop laughing... haha.. its amazing how a small sentence can make someone so happy for so long... of cuz i have my moments. i think its true.. i learnt to do this from up above...

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part 2

"sometimes ur daddy scold u all for nth rite, is not he want... is cuz he work.. then stress and pek chek... he also don like to scold u all.. he cares alot abt you kids also... see, every sunday.. he will stock up the fridge and cook ur favorites.. so when he is unreasonable.. u all must uds... don get upset... left year in right ear out.."

haha.. its true i guess.. give and take.. try to uds... cuz afterall.. these are the ppl u can rely on... as for ur frens... u decide urself... i always complain alot.. but in the end.. i will do it.. cuz if u can help.. just help.. cuz if u are in need of help.. u wish they will be there for u too rite?

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every relationship is a dedicate unique balance... give and take.. understanding and tolerance.. love and care... faith and trust.. hope and sweetness... theres so much in it... happiness and sadness.. its part of it... how long it last lies in ur hands.... maintain it...

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.tim *we will still be as loving if not more loving 1 yr, 10 yrs, 100 yrs down the road.*

271209 - love your enemy

nth much today. went amk for a stroll. theres pop's eye there.. =) currently in a moodless mood as per the last few days. so very sian..

love your enemy.. u must be thinking i mad already rite? nope.. im crazy but i think this is a good idea.. how can u find peace if u urself ain't peaceful at all? no matter wat.. its a vicious cycle isn't it? if someone does sth nasty and mean to you, and u do it back. then that person do it to u again.. then when is this goin to end.. both of u get more and more hurt isn't it? this is one of the reason why sometimes i just keep quiet. its not tat i don't care or im nice to bully.. its just i think its pointless to do anything. ha.ha.

.tim *i want to put tat smile back on ur face again*

261209 - Tuaygi Tuki

rainy cold day. eat and eat. slept alittle. tot alot. watched “妻子的诱惑”.

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watching the DVD, u feel life is unfair. why are there always these ppl. who just wanna ruin ur life. have they nothing better to do? if i could. i would erase them away.. reading some things makes me feel so ??? of cuz im upset.. but im more hurt... u actually wrote tat. and it's pointless to ask u to del it or anything.. wat's happened already happened.. let it be..

time and time again.. there has been many rumors abt me.. scandals.. silly ones.. serious ones.. nonsensical ones.. there was even one abt me quiting sch and migrating. when will they stop? its silly isnt it.. and others actually believe.. i have no comments.

no matter how you feel. happi or sad. angry or calm. u know who will be there for you. deep down inside.. small actions. treasured feelings. only you know. actions speaks louder then words.

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.tim *will u take me on a holiday? away from all these challenges?*

clear the air

cleared with the person.. but then start another tot of mind.. why is tat things like this always happen when a particular person is there? suspicious rite? haha.. yet.. nth is mentioned here. no names were ever mentioned.. =) smile... this particular person. THANKS! u are such a *toot*.

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i have my tots. 1 years ago, u did this..this year, u do it again to me.. just that the other person changed. wat have i even done to u? haha. guess it just pleases u to see me suffer rite... karma ok.

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.tim

251209 - don't think so much.

241209 - kite

woke up quite earli to prepare some food for sentosa.. sorry for being late.. really didnt mean to.. anyway.. run ard, played. tried to fly my kite but no wind.. aww... overall.. i am happy.. =) had dinner out went home rest awhile and met the rest at cityhall.. again.. sorry for being late.. thanks for waiting.. headed to esplanade to chill.. and i knocked out eventually cuz i was too tired.. cabbed home.. merry christmas.

251209 - don think so much

sent my day at home slping away in the end.. so much idle time = more time to think. which is bad. anyway.. merry chirstmas everyone. =) hope u had a great one.

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wat would u do when u are accused but am innocent? was it just a miscommunication or has the wordS of mouthS changed the whole picture? clear conscious. watever it is. do as u please.

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.tim

231209 - Tiring!

had project in the morning. chat with jiamin after tat.. haha.. abt band.. and her band seniors.. and my band.. memories... went taka to shop.. wanted to get a wallet but ya... don waste money ar.. my wallet still so new.. haha... travelled ard.. and went back to vch for philyouth concert... its not bad u know... i like 3rd symphony's 3rd movement.. so EMOTIONAL... can feel the emotions building up.. mac and homed.

tml is kite day! yes! and after tat is Esplanade tonning! i have life ok! who wan come? haha. ok.. the current mass convo with gerri, janey, benny, sarri, raywee, jasony has made me all crazy.. who wan join us for tonning sms me! ask me for details. lai.. all invited... its a all merry christmas!

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i realise alot of things today again.. haha.. kite day.. let the wind bring you far far away.. good bye.

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.tim *umm hmm =D*

GO AWAY. LEAVE ME ALONE

JUST GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE.

I HATE SCH. I HATE WAT I NEED TO PUT UP WITH. I HATE MY JOB.

GO AWAY. U STUPID IRRITATING IRRITANT.

WTH.

BYE. ASSHOLE

221209 - i feel so N-ed

woke up earli. went for medical. i tot i was late.. so cabbed from queensway mrt.. wth.. i wasnt.. i had to wait so long.. anyway.. went home after tat.. EAT alot and slp... woke up.. went to chinatown with mummy... while exploring the area.. i had a flash back... i use to walk along the linkway between OG and people's park.. last time, theres this toy uncle.. and i always stand there and stare at the toys.. i sometimes miss being a kid.. i want to eat ice cream. i wan to fly kite.

theres alot of time to slp and think today.. it seems like a long day.. and as im blogging now.. i see 1111... oh well... proj tml. concert in the evening...

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R vs PI, when will it all end?

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.tim *staring out. waiting.*

211209 - bad day.

not a good day. my phone kept ringing... its the same old responsibility vs personal interest. and still.. my responsibilities got the better of me.. hais. upset! anyway, went home and ate alot and slept. like a pig. woke up.. drag myself to sch.. set up the band room as usual and i think i pulled my nerve. my should pain =( and i cant reach. oh well.. band was....

up earli tml. travelling to a dreadful place..

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wat else you want? i guess its not time yet... tolerance and patience.. even if it means sacrificing everything else.. hasnt it been like this? i guess tats my life. haha..... when will i finally find my box full of double chocolate hello panda with chocolate cream in every panda biscuit?

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.tim *i am sad but i don wan to show it*

201209 - bye weekends.

zoom. weekends are gone! sat driving.. it was great! everything was quite ok.. except i stalled 3 times.. nah.. nth big.. im confident already! often, we are who we think we are and what we can do. so i shall think tat way =) went home to freshen up b4 meeting halif for jon's xmas.

halif was late! anyway.. he said im a rose in the bed of thorns? o.0 haha... and the you tiao. went to jon's and left after while.. went shopping! i got a new shirt. yays. went out for late nite dinner and home.

sunday.. wa.. woke up damn earli... am so shagged now.. church, lunch. met fian. hello dey, u said 2 lo.. walked ard while waiting, i could even file my nails. strolled from douby to raffles to meet him. i rmb how to walk! thanks to the someone who teach me! haha.. had lunch again at ms which sucked. got some stuff and left for vch. yuhua in concert. not bad. first time thou.. steel drums were interesting. waited. dinner at macs and home. last train last bus. i was lucky today. =)

.tim *i am willing. my glimpse of sunshine*

181209 - GG SOQM, Holidays!

Lesson at 8! omg. imagine dragging urself to sch.. i slept 3/4 of the train ride.. i slept standing up -.-.. anway, not many came.. thanks ms tan for the hashbrown and laugther.. =) lecture ended at 12. studied in the library. did some band stuff.. and ya.. here comes the paper... and i was so tired and pfft.. didnt study much... wa... the things i study nv come out leh.. the things i didnt came out.. omg! first time spot wrong qn.. maybe too tired.. GG, maybe a 60%? sadded.

rush to finish up my band worked.. then left to celebrate jolie's bday in advance.. woo.. time to save! getting tight.. but yay! hols are here.. on the bright side.. i can have a break.. time to let go abit.. time for a break.. =D study.. rmb.. study.. driving tml morning! last lesson! then goin to my fren's place for advance xmas in the evening. wonder who i will meet there.. haha. yup.. tiring day.. slp earli. new straight soft bed sheets! thanks mummy!

.tim *Jiayou! you can do it! i'm here, supporting you all the way*

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its time to let go. its time to loosen those tense muscle. its time to wash it off. time to be like the little kitten. smileeeeeeeee. =D

171209 - part 3

long long day. having slept for less then 4 hrs. dragged myself up for the 8 am lesson.. everyone was still slping when i left. =( i want to say. attending miss tan's lesson was not bad.. at least it puts my mind away from other tots for tat period.. and i can just laugh it off.. im sorry i had to leave the class to do band stuff again.. i'll arrange a better system.. tml theres a ms tan's laughaton session at 8 tml.. i shall go.. and pull my mind away...

decided to skip MCAD lecture again.. went home.. took a 10 min nap.. and got summon to pass the key... and i was late to meet my fren... sorry.. had a few laughs with everyone b4 goin our seperate ways.. Ramdan was pretty amusing.. miss the show.. went for another one.. had prata and cake b4 that.. chocolate =) thanks for the company.. the day was full of ups and downs.. ended in happiness. =) thanks.

theres a test tml.. and guess its gonna be a long day. got shit to clear. had to sacrifice celebrating ppl's bday. wow. R vs PI.

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manage my thoughts. =)

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.tim *the present*

161209 - watiting.

compensation paper in the morning.. pretty ok.. my gastric pains almost killed me.. had double patty straight away after the paper.. supposed to have a meeting but the subject wasnt ard.. went to class.. whitney and cheryl started taking pic.. so ya, join in.. bpo tut, who's listening again? haha. TEP awards.. its boring. lame. whats the use of the cert when so many ppl have it? relative worth.

waited in sch till abt 6 to have a short meeting over a specific subject matter.. saw yh while waiting so sat tgt to chat and catch up.. started thinking lot and ya.. swing swing... well.. the needle is found. and i had a moment of truth. so now how am i goin to progress... am i supposed to be on 24/7 standby? erm, reality check, i don stay in NYP hostel. ummm.. dono la dono la. otw home, war brewed in thou skull. alot alot of tots. my decision is this for now. for the better. its time. so much to decide. i have my tots.

i am having a prediction. it feels logical and real. hoping it will not happen just will not work.. taking too much precaution may back fire.. contingency plans. you just have to trust! i keep telling myself tat. and i will continue to do it. for the better. =) action speaks. others can feel.

test on friday. 5 lectures. all the best. good nites.

.tim *smile*

151209 - Emo-tional. bye IB.

i am doin wat i can do already. its not like i don wan to help. i HAVE been doing alot of things. i go back to that dark room hoping it will appear. i really wonder.. who might be doing this. you hate me so much ar? thanks ar. even if its personal, don drag other ppl into the picture la.. -.- ok. i shall not assume anything.. but but.. its not funny lo.. during this test and project week.. u have to leave the class to do stuff, ans phone blah blah blah.. its not fun at all.. oh where oh where.. oh where might thou be.. please come back.. i am giving myself a time check. i am washing my hands.

on the other hand. bye IB. had to live on mentos jus to get myself hyper.. -.- sorry girls, i know i crazy.. i shall not scream and shout and jump ard for no reason.. haha.. Ms Ang said my group's topic was good in a way and bad in a way.. bad cuz for 3/4 of it she was thinking abt the link.. cuz its abit bias.. WHO ASK SOUTH KOREA TO BE SO SUCCESSFUL? haha.. lucky she said, the conclusion was good.. i phew on the SPOT. at least its done and over with for now.. thanks for the red tie.. it breezed me thru the ppt..

compensation ica1 tml. shdnt be too bad since the focus is clear lect 1-5 mcq, 3 casestudy.. should be able to =) i shall eat my chocolate. and look for my lollipop. and hide under my blanket to study. =( umm.. moody~

.tim *faith*

141209 - irritated

topic 1

today is an irritating day... stop askinggggggggggggggggg... i am doing wat i can already... give time can? hello? i still got sch can. i know u need the tings. but wait la.. there's a certain reporting process we have to follow. be patient abit can? ok.. i am so wanting to wash my hands already. tsk. i have ppt tml! how to have meeting.. argh... and im the last group, sure overrun.. i don want! slice me into 2 la.. half ppt half meet. =.=

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topic 2

i am disappointed in u. to think u shd be more matured. but u are not. althou im not the main subject matter.. but wat i feel is, omg. u are such an idiot.. i wan to wake u up.. but i dono how. maybe u might not agree with my tots.. but u are a guy. do the right thing la...

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topic 3

some ppl are so childish. no balls. no nehs. not happi come la. don do it behind. got prob don wan solve.. then still ACT frenly.. HAVE A STAND CAN? keeping quiet doesnt mean i dono.. doing nth doesnt mean im letting u step over.. like i say.. im neutral.. i let do wat pleases u.. step over and i'll retaliate..

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topic 4

am i too nice? a stranger on the street asked me for money to take train... and i gave.. he look decent, maybe he lost his wallet or wat... oh well... anyway, when ppl need help.. i always try go and help.. when i need help? how many ppl will help u? onli i know who are my supportive frens lo.. don worry. i wont forget u.. i said this since pri sch.. and i will say it again.. u nice to me, i nicer to u.. u bad to me, i evil to u...

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i ha ice cream cake.. yum yum.. hee hee.. =D walked ard.. and i finally got tat box! i am clearing those things away... ummm.. enough for the day.. tml will be a long day. hais. jy!

.tim *faith hope trust*

131209 - mind control

today's a bored bored bored day... i slept alot.. at least, i caught up with slp.. i clean the hse.. and did my project... i haven study thou... haha.. my table is still half packed.. omg. i am so lazy can?! had yong tao fu for lunch and for dinner.. not bad.. today i got family day... at home.. its been awhile since we sat tgt to eat... haha... but but but! i wan eat ice cream.. i wan eat chocolate.. dark chocolate! i wan eat laksa... i wan new earphones.. i wan my ipod touch... i wan new phone.. i wan more clothes.. i wan this i wan tat.. its endless rite.. haha.. okok... im fine with them or without them.. most impt.. i know i have someone i can always depend on.. =) tats all i need.. rich or poor, i am still like this... happi =) materialist me has been replaced.. cuz cuz.. =) shhh...

anyway.. my needle is still missing.. irritating leh.. appear leh... dear ghost of G301, i think u had enough fun... next time then play can? thank you.. and and.. aiyo.. stop asking le la.. i explain until i give up... i say i will update once i get any update... and i don like it leh.. don ask me to do stupid things can? not i selfish or wat la but you are so irritating can... give me a break la... i am so wanting to wash my hands in the golden basin... 2 words for u. irritating irritant. ha ha.

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happy also one day, sad also one day... u choose.. its the way u see things.. open up and see beyond ur sight. hear it, feel it, taste it. there more happiness ard then you think there is. smile.

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.tim *i want u more then anything =) with u, im the happiest guy on earth*

busy busy slpy slpy stressy stressy

the past week has been, TIRING! but quite fruitful. =) i had fun in the midst of all these stresses. 3 papers for the week. IHRM, okok.. =) BPO, after 5 hrs of muggin in the library. okok. MCAD - cant be bothered. problem!

i've been falling aslp everywhere i go.. haha.. and clement slps with his eyes open.. scary right... lebin knows it best. busy week... but i enjoyed it.. it was fun.. thou stress.. had fun bitching ard with my lecturers and classmates... takes the stress away for awhile.. let alone my wonderful frens who accompany me thru the long stressful nites.. great company. great food. i am happy.

upcoming, tuesday IB ICA1, wed COMPEN ica 1, friday SOQM ica 1 and SOQM project survey. monday driving test. tue medical. we MCAD proj... i am quite packed. hold on tight.. its gonna be a tough ride.

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you are too much. finding a needle in the haystack. i am gonna wash my hands in the golden basin

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.tim *u make me smile*

one big thank you.

Concert is over. =) thank you one and all for all ur efforts and dedication. thank you to my frens for being understanding during this period. thank you my friends for helping me when i need you most. thank you for putting up with my nonsense. thanks. one big thank you! =) thanks.

upcoming. testS. project. driving test. open house. im taking a 2 weeks break from band to focus on sch work. after tat. its back to band.. jan will be crazy.. its major projects month. oh man.. when can i get to enjoy my fast few mths in sch.. haha...

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i have lotsa tots running in my head now.

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.tim *i'm adapting*

i am goin crazy. ahh!

concert tml.

.tim *imyimyimyimyimyimyimyimyimyimyimyimyimy! iwyiwyiwy*

坏人

.tim *sighs*

坏人

.tim *sighs*

maybe i have given up

everything is not going too well.. i have ran out of motivation for anything already... im just gonna do wat i need to do.. one person.. selfish.. well.. no one cares anyway... 5 projects.. 1 test.. tell me wat to do... lost, fragmented. maybe i have given up.. its ok... no one cares.

Proper post

okay.. let me recalled wat happened ytd..

went to sch.. lessons was so so so boringgggggggg. i skipped IB and compensation.. compensation leh... one my of favorites. =( ms tan was asking where was i.... anyway.. was moving the stuff to audi.. the usual.. concert is in a few daysssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

last nite's pract was so tiring lo... omg. after moving.. i was like pffft. already.still pract for 4 hr.. haha.. went for dinner.. was so full! haha.. i was like.. im so lazy to move.... im so lazy to eat... haha.. i dono wat i blogging also. oh ya. tat z in you is still so irritating.

BYE

011209 - Shag is an understatement

i am so tired today. sch. then i had to skip lessons to move stuff to the audi. so slow.. and hot! argh.... then pract.. 4 hrs of playingggggggggggggggggggggggggg... so hot.. so tired... my joints are all cuiiiiiiiiiiiiii! i am shagggggggggggg. and achingggggggggggg. and worried abt lessonssssss... went for dinner after band. =D and home... the next few days will be SHAG-ingly, irritating. oh ya.. tat z in you is still as irritating.

hope everything go well tml.. i will blog properly tml.... i hope i got the time. nites...................

.tim *can i slp on u? haha*

301109 - falling in place. falling apart.

definitely a long day today. sch. boring. rushed home for driving. HE FORGOT TO BOOK MY CIRCUIT! i wasted my time driving on the road for 2 hrs. wth. sit until my butt pain. =( drove to sch. ordered food. put up posters. hais... no appetite. i am upset with alot of things. SENSE OF URGENCY? 4 more days! where is the sense of urgency? don last min again. i HATE it I HATE!. tsk. oh ya.. and the Z in u is so irritating. argh! everything please go well for the rest of the week.

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Falling in place.

slowly, everything is taking its respective place. its a sooner or later thing. im still stressed up with unfinished business. but it will all fall into place.. i have faith. =) tml will go well. yes it will.

Falling apart.

as u focus on one. u neglect another. my studies is worrying me. im gonna miss 3 weeek of IB in total. =( hais. sorry frens. wait for me. after this concert i will come back to u =). sorryyyyyyyy. lastly.. im falling apart. can u sit there and play ur flute until u get so dizzy it worries you? alot of other things in my life is not goin too well.. slowly.. i will get a hold of them.. slowlyyyyyyyyyyyy..

deep down inside.

i have so much to say. so much i wanna do. was looking forward. hmmm. faster please. faster... i feel i might just explode soon.

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.tim *put my tots into words and it paints a picture*

291109 - Haircut!

biological clocks makes me wake up at 715 everyday. sneak back into slp.. i had a dream =D. went to church... ppl look at me like dono wat like tat.. WAT?! stop staring la. -.- went home for lunch. roast duck! haha.. taste funny thou.. my mum asked"i tot u cannot swallow?" i ans"got roast duck eh.. cannot swallow also wan eat la... " haha. i ate abit onli thou.. cant taste much..

went for a haircut with my fren. thanks for accompanying me... and thanks for saying i look like a doll.. haha.. but my hair is cute rite.. i know.. =) i saw astroboy book while shopping. I WANT MY ASTROBOY! SOMEONE WRAP UP AND GIVE TO ME =) HAHA. xmas is coming.

i wan to thank everyone.. those who helped me and those who are helping me.. thank you very much... concert week is here... jy. thanks! thank you.

.tim *uhhhhhhhhhhh. so cute!*

upset

i am upset.

but wat can i do?

291109 - ACHE. rest.

i realise i keep seeing 1111 nowadays. i realise. hmm. anyway, i spent my day resting alot today. partly cus of the medication and also the aches. omg. even a stroke on my back feels like a hard, scaring scratch. =( i is aching all over. EVERYWHERE. best of all. i is losing me voice. slowly. i was so irritated with my dad and bro. "huh? cannot hear.. wat wat?" tsk. I LOST MY VOICE ALREADY! JUST DON TALK TO ME. -.-

concert is in 1 week. im coughing quite badly. i think. i think if im still not ok, i may not play =( i don wan to keep coughing on stage.. so ARGH! so much to do. im gonna have to miss some lessons on tue.. =( =( =( exams coming! omg. im so gonna fail.. how? sad face.

its gonna be a long week next week. please go well.. oh wait.. sure go well. so ya =)

.tim *HEY! I WAN YOU!*

271109 - freak weather. exhuasted.

nth much for today i guess. freak weather. drizzle and sunny at the same time. sunny and pouring at the same time. wth? ran a few places. very tired. my fever hasnt gone down. please go away. next week is an impt week. go away. up and down. hot and cold. wat is it with fever and me? go away. 38.1 i don wanna go into the cold room again. its so COLD. =(

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Responsibilities Vs Personal Interest.

when your job gets personal. what will u do. u have to do ur job and u lose a friend. its not the first time. i blame no one. being sick and down with much more to do. i give up. do watever u wan. do watever pleases u. im tired. really tired.

Appreciation.

After doin so much. have u ever wondered if the receiver appreciates it? silly you. i guess its ok? u just wanted the person to be happy or the thing to go well. so don complain. im sure u're happi to see the thing go well. the person happi. that sense of accomplishment.

tired.

resting is preparing to walk a further distance. balance, push too much it breaks. don push no progress. its a delicate balance. 1 more week. just 1 more. 1.

reflection.

its only when u're alone or sick when u get to think super alot. realise many things. the ugly truth as they say. wat to do? u decide for urself. priority, choice, beautify it. im tired. nites.

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.tim *im scared by the freak fever. =( i wan u*

261109 - Transparent ar?

i skipped praba's tut today cuz i was aching so badly. my body aches like mad. down to the bones! wa liao. went for compensation tut. stupid ST. on the spot assign qn. =( anyway. had a few laughs with LB. sneaked out of class cuz 1) its cold, 2) i need to do band stuff. and i cant concentrate. ms tan" where u go?" oh, i stomach ache la. LB"ya, can smell" haha! funni ar?! -.- skipped IHRM cuz i cant concentrate. went for lunch with the girls.

came back. printed 1200 concert tickets. cut 1200 concert tickets. and chopped 1000 plus tickets till vivien benji and amanda came along. my legends of helpers. continued other concert stuff discussion with mr han. ok. i can say. my brain is not working today. really so slow. i cannot think well! argh. worse still, i got a cut on my finger. so pain. i cannot wash my face in peace. take things in peace. bathe and shampoo in peace. omg. did i mention. my flute got blood. -.-

am i transparent? i decided to go home earlier. i skipped my follow up. =x too tired. otw home. ppl keep walking into me. was i too silence? or wat? or am i a floating person? no rite? 1) u all like to stare at me. why? 2) now u all wanna block my way and walk into me. i wonder wats next. haha. anyway. i had alot of time to slowly think abt stuff today. i have ans. =) yawn. and ya. IF U DON NEED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE DON ASK ME TO ARRANGE FOR U. AND LATER SAY U DON NEED IT OK. happen so many times. different ppl. aiyo. i already so pfft. then u all not helping nvm la but don add. later karma ar. tsk.

a side note.

i lost my voice. my throat is pain until! =( i ate fruits for dinner. cuz i cannot swallow. im so hungry now. =( toot toot. maybe ppl will be happy. less noise.

=====

many a times i wonder abt my circle of frens. and also their frens. theres good and bads. does it please u to spoilt other ppl's frenship? haha. karma hor. karma ar. i won do anything. cuz i know, my fren will trust me rite. afterall they are my frens. if they don. they arent.

=====

.tim *i is dying to see you already. not say long not say short. imy eh*

*life is a gamble. what are the odds?*

241109 251109 - Fallen.

hi all. sorry i cant blog ytd. i was too sick. i went for band for awhile to make sure everything is in place. left in a cab. which TOOK SO LONG to get home. i was feeling sick. reach home with 38.8. no mood for food nor everything. tried to take a nap but my temp shot up. 39.4 =( by the time i seek professional help. its already 40.1. lucky to be alive rite. haha. my mummy said. ur whole body so red lo. swollen face, eyes. red red. like lobster. then i was like. huh? orh. ok.

when i was burning, i was really thinking abt i cant fall yet. theres too much to be done. keep pushing. just a week more. after tat. no prob. of cuz i tot abt the ppl who would be there for me. many questions. realise many things too. thou i was supposed to stay in. i got my way thru and manage to sneak to school for lessons and band. thou many things went wrong but manage to slowly solve it. and hey, im still alive ok. nv say die. even if u are really dying. somehow i realise my reaction became slower suddenly. my mum talked to me. i reply 4 sec later. mr Han called. i need some time to think then reply in voice. man, maybe i cooked my brains.

a side note.

i am not god. please don be so last min. after i got the things for u. u say actually don need. THANK YOU AR. make a sick person worry like a mad man and then u say no need. hi. im also a living person. my tone and attitude towards u was? and wats urs to me? i really had quite enough of everything. im planning. planning this impt decision of mine. somehow i think i will be happier.

.tim *hey, i think u're better then any medicine. i really miss u*

Wrong time to be sick.

incase i don wake up tml.

the cold got worse. running a fever now. sneeze non stop. keep falling aslp on the chair. =( its such a wrong timing. anyway. I AM GOIN TO SLP. upset upsad. i guess it was my fault i pushed to make myself stay awake. should have slept. =( nite.

=====

if that is part of the plan. it failed.

=====

.tim *i was willing to wait despite the obstacles.*

231109 - Sneeze. Circuit driving. Host+softskills. Big picture.

a little side note abt ytd.

i just recalled. my chinese is really cmi. working ytd was -.- cuz my chinese vocab is so limited. i don even know wat is "limited seats" or "dover" in chinese. haha. watever. and i slept on my table. =/ my neck and back almost broke when i work up.

today.

maybe i didnt slp well? i had a bad cold in the morning. really bad.. i keep sneezing! Miss Ong ask if im ok. need go home anot. thanks but i will stay. went for IB lecture late cuz i was hungry =x sorry guys.. everyone had to go in late and sit at the FIRST row. my burger went cold cuz shes jus infront, i cant eat. thanks jj for sending me to station! i tried my best not to sneeze in ur car =)

driving was challenging today. went into the circuit. i think need a few mroe pract. cuz cuz he keep saying wat to do.. later exam day i don rmb how? drove to sch after tat. =) but my leg hurts cuz i tink the paddle prob.. legs too long ma. wat to do.. printed posters but i realise got typo =.= wasted. today was really testing me lo.. i was tired. i was thinking abt sth. i was sick. but i had to be the host for band. today we were very honored to have with us 2 profs. Dr Vince (sax) and Dr Rowland(flute) but if u wan add Dr Goh then is 3 profs. had lessons with her. learn super alot today. both flute and softskills. i had to put my sickness, emotions, everything behind my head. and play host. i guess i did well =) Dr Rowland said i was very nice to talk to. haha. ego already. i guess i have to thank someone for training me. always sth bad happens and i still have to smile and get other things done. and yes, i have alot of small talk topics too. all because i wanna keep the convo goin on. i guess i have to thank you for that. and my other frens. and also myself. for making the effort to learn. ok. don say already. later emo. haha.Dr Rowland is a nice lady. knowledgable and all. =) she did a mini recital for us also.. nice. thank you very much =)

=====

lets not assume. even if it is so. does it really matter now? history = memories. i guess i can sense how u feel but lets not think too much abt it ya? =) smile smile. lets not complicate the wonderful painting of the both of you. (i hope i wrote wat i wanted to say correctly.)

=====

wat to wear tml? hungry. slpy. miss you.

.tim *don think too much ok? im here =)*

221109 - TIRED. Happi Bday Karlyn kayden low=)

woke up at 6 cuz working. thank you fren's daddy for sending. and thank you fren for making bread for me to eat. its very nice =) sci centre is so far away. and its so HOT like no tml. today's event was for the elderly. it reminded me abt my entre proj. saw qingmin but i think she didnt recognized me. its really not fun to compete with the loud amps. i talk until so pain lo. plus elderly ma.. must louder abit.. they are nice ppl ok.. cuz i nv had grandparents taking care of me so i always feel those kids whose grandparents are still ard like so fortunate. oh well..

came home by train.. stand leh.. is tired until! omg. got irritated by ppl at home. rest awhile, washed up and went to church. rushed down by CAB to karyln's bday. the cab got lost u know.. omg. major overcharge but oh well. we had steam boat. i tell u, its damn nice! i like i like i like... very my kind of taste.. the girls baked banana nutella chocolate cake! its like chocolate u know! i like! then had oreo cheese balls chocolate fondue. omg can. and COKE + M&M.. chocolate chocolate chocolate! im like damn happi luh. the ppl were damn fun too.. round the table, ben, benny, sar, jason, edward, vivien, esther, jerold, sarah, karyln, geraldine, hweeling, louis. so fun! the dog was so cute with his/her "RUDE". vivien and her nonsense. benji and his laughter. karlyn and her gullibility. sarah and benny with their usual. sar and his VIDEOs. everyone with their randomness. uncle auntie with their hospitality. happi. =) hapi birthday to you karlyn. stay cheers. i sent the guys home/station otw home and guess wat. its cheaper then i went there. -.-

now im home. lotsa things to do. but im tired. and i feel sth's missing.

.tim *i wan see you soon*

"keep smiling"

irritating. u and ur stupid ideas.

u got an extra line. u ask me to use. then someone say shes gonna sponsor cuz no one is using and its wasteful. now u throw it to me. ask me to pay myself. thanks ar. actually come to think of it. i also don use it anymore.. i use to use it for awhile.. cuz of some ... oh well.. GUESS IM BONDED FOR THE NEXT 2 YEARS PAYING FOR YOUR MISTAKE. thank you working adult with your empty promises. U AND UR STUPID IDEAS. anyway. i hate it when ppl give empty promises. if u cant do it. DON PROMISE AT ALL. irritating. this reminds me how much i wan u to move out. watever. i'll live with it for the next 6 mths till i get enlisted. and HOPEFULLY sent abroad. then i don have to see ur face. 4 child. all hopes on one. no wonder im stressed. thanks.

i have 2 weeks to complete it all. thank you. ppl ask why u don wan others to help. i say. its cuz of the many empty promises. watever. i Do it is faster then i ASK ppl to help. wat time already. half study. half work. still need do hse work. teach little devil. take all the attitude and yet maintain a super high GPA cuz why. all the hopes on 1. thanks ar. if i fall and faint and hopefully loss my memories. its thank to u hor. u and ur empty promise. watever la. i hate it. i hate IT. EMPTY PROMISES! ARGH. memories that huant me. im gonna emo again. thanks to another u. =(

im just venting my anger. cuz im so tired. pffffft. reminder to self.. "good intentions" ok. i shall just swallow it all. next time, i know not to trust YOU.

.tim *hey, im starting to miss you alot already*

"is this bottle empty? no. its full of empty promises"

211109 - Travel. Happi earli bday jolene.

Woke up at 8 today.. again. so tired! i wonder why. last nite i was so tired but my head was painful.. didnt slp well.. went labrador park to work today.. set up the place in the morning.. then the main event.. the boy's home guys are ok leh.. just abit rude here and there but overall they are ok la... and it rain and shine and rain and shine and rain. the wind was so strong! omg. i wan fly kite! i WANT!!!!!!!!! who wanna bring me go? =) anyway... got caught in the rain again. pfft. its a nice place thou.. i like. i wan go. =)

train to jolene's chalet. happi 21st! i was too hungry so i ate old chang kee and cup walker while waiting for vivien. =x.. oh ya.. WISH U HAPPI 21st okay! my DA JIE hor. wish u happi happi always and pretty pretty ar.. and GROW TALLER ABIT. =x jkjk.. all the best! =D hope u like the gift we got u ^^

tired.. tml 6am need wake up.. pffft

.tim *it starts tml*

"Labrador Park - Windy, clear blue sea, cruise, greens, PLAYGROUND. lovely"

201109 - Drenched. Rest.

Tiring day. lessons at 8 am. i was so lethargic.. guess wat. i slept in lecture and Charlie's angels said my neck was 90degree. omg. isnt tat super unglam? IHRM lesson was ~~ lo. my team wont the mini game cuz i was bored so i just anyhow raise.. and ms tan gave us chocolate pie! CHOCOLATE! U KNOW? CHOCOLATE?! i ate. i was hyper. then i went emo. cuz cuz cuz. stomach pain. =( and i wan chocolate.

stayed in sch to finish up the posters banners and all. i was like doing it in class lo. and can u please reply my email? =( anyway. when we were abt to leave sch. it started to rain. like snow. then suddenly the cats and dogs came crashing down. i was DRENCHED. got home, too tired. fell aslp. woke up with the. OMG, wat happen? my head hurts. and it still hurts.

next 2 days will be a long day. i have much to do. 2 more weeks. rush rush. mentally challenged. but. nv say die. soon it will be over. projects please give me a break can? tutorials step aside. concert for now. wat abt myself? hmm... next life? pffft. take care.

=====

i saw the numbers on the watch. but do they have a meaning? only i will know. =]

=====

.tim *its been barely a day but i have to say. imy. hope the next few days will be easy to pass*

191109 - im FINE. "its true! i tell u, its true!"

1 word. Exhausted.

long long day. MOODSWING? even ms tan ask if im ok. haha. thank you everyone. the kid is FINE. he is really really FINE. thank you very much. lessons as usual. headed to band room awaiting C.O.'s arrival to collect the chimes. piano awhile. see HAN regarding concert. gosh. lots to do. im fine. band room again. this time no piano. =( lie on the platform. stare blank. went for a short walk to sbm block and back. sat down. think. ok. nvm. i shall go home. then i change my mind. i wan to eat. HUNGRY. ate chicken rice with lets see 4 serving of chilli. someone call me a chilli monster! tsk. ya, stomach pain. stayed out for awhile then home. gonna do tut and slp i guess. im so tired. really really tired.

=========

always go for wat u really want. tats wat im doing right now.

=========

.tim *thank you*

181109 - Silly Choices

the day was such a silly one. i CABBED to sch cuz i tot im gonna be late and i don wan to miss the class. and guess wat. theres onli this 2 hr tut and THE TUTOR WAS SICK. everyone came for nth. no prior notice. nothing. wasted cab fair. wasted trip. blah blah.

went for brunch with the girls and sufri, halif. bought koi and decided to stroll back to sch. piano therapy for awhile. did tut. some band publicity stuff. and ya. paino again. then dinner and band. i realise. i lost my appetite for everything. and i was screaming and shouting.. haha.. tired maybe?

band was ok. cuz i was abit pek chek so i decided to just forget everything and pract. guess wat. i am 90% confident with my parts. and i was still quite distracted. sorry ben. took up alot of time to go thru with me. and thank you! very patient. very encouraging. thanks.

=========

Student. Musician. Leader. Brother. Son. Friend.

obligations. passion. rest.

lots to do. as usual. nth is impossible. just how long can you last.

physiological. physical. emotional.

=========

Treasures. choices. emotions. time.

when things you need/want seems so near. it moves away from you again.

continue pursuing it? give up? choices again.

life is simple. you complicate it.

solution; REMOVE foreign contaminant and its simple again. don bring in things or stuff that is not in the picture. wat matter most is wat u really want/need. cheers.

=========

rain. pain.

don rain so much can? its painful.

the usual + on offs. it turns you off.

all i need. CHOCOLATE.

chocolate is my life. my motivation. my passion.

.tim *all i need is just chocolate*

Smile. =)

Smile alright. =) should always take everything with a smile. cheer up.

tml's gonna be a new and better day.

=D look at my hand

.tim *i'm sorry. =)*

171109 - soul-less

i lost myself. again. im just a floating shell. missed my bus in the morning. tot of train but who knows. i overshot my stop and i was late. sch was blank. mine was somewhere else. and i will use the overhead bridge if theres one from now on. my back and leg hurts.

i am sad. leave me alone.

.tim *were u serious?*

161109 - Moody. Raindrops.

Today's a busy and moody day. raindrop keeps falling on my head. lessons were ok. wanted to skip IB for watever reason but didnt. rushed home for driving lessons. driving was ok... nth much.. drove in the rain today. at first scary. then ok already.. scary cuz its so noisy.. and irritating. but rest was ok.. i anyhow drive again. no mood. went home. HUNGRY LIKE DONO WAT. ate plain bread. tsk. NTH at home to eat. rest awhile. fell aslp. someone came. woke me up. irritated. decided to go into the room lie down awhile and dressed up for sch again. went amk to get koi for amanda. sch, sian. no piano for me today. upset. band was ok. shall not say much. mood is sian. everything also sian. headache again. dot dot dot. hais. SIAN!

sometimes u wonder if this is really you. u didnt knw u could do such things. u go the extra mile.. and maybe its time to draw a line. anyway.. headache.. nite.

p.s. i wan my chocolate!

.tim *sometimes u wonder how u could miss someone so much. imy*

151109 - Jerold's 20

wow! so many november babies! happi birthday jerold! =)

before meeting up with the rest, decided to ask kor out for cake.. BUT as usual.. they don have the cake i wanted. so we made do with icecream.. i had topless 5 + chocolate fudge, marcus ate chewy chocolate sth sth.. haha both of us went.. AIYO, STOMACH PAIN LEH. met up with the rest later on.. went to spizza to surprise jerold. i think esther is such a sweet girl.. every year, she plans sth for jerold.. so nice rite.. tsk tsk..

went home after tat... headache ar.. i dono why... tml theres sch and driving.. then band. hope i get better. and this is the song of my nite.. it rings in my mind.. i dono why also... =)

.tim *wat matters is that we are in our hearts*

141109 - sleepy head. stop staring

131109 - Carol's Birthday!

happi birthday carol!

went to bugis for steamboat to celebrate.. the food was ok.. we planned a surprise which didnt go as much as we planned. but SHE was abit surprised.. and best of all. happy =) tats most impt.. oh man... we braved the rain to go to the steamboat place.. and i went to fetch the blur mr halif.. and i got wet. -.- while lighting the candles. she already saw us.. ahhh... =( but haha.... everyone was happi =)

after steamboat when walking ard bugis.. took neoprints and off we go. went to find my fren after tat for chillax.. cold and rainy nite. i like the calming feel but my back so pain =( went for a walk and got scared by an ah neh.. no wonder they say fri 13 is a black friday.. black indeed.

and wats with ppl and staring at me. don so rude leh.. i paranoid leh.. u all wan stare don let me know ok... thank you... =) im jus another average kid.. stare at me makes me feel like.. wat? got sth on my face is it? or did i do sth wrong?

141109 - sleepy head

i dono why i slept so much today.. just so lazy.. pfft.. eat and slp, eat and slp. like a pig. i guess its good in a way? cuz i haven been sleeping enough... today catch up ar.. but slp too much now abit headache already.. and i feel so fat! omg. i ate so much. nth much already i guess... i am goin to bed soon.

.tim *every moment, every tot*

131109 - black friday

121109 - movie was a disappointment

nth much happened today... watch a movie.. sorry my fren, haha.. i got at fright towards the end i and i think i grab too hard... the day ended well.. i am still happi despites external influences. thank you.

131109 - black friday

i already don like them. and they make it even so. am so tired now. nites all. blog tml.

.tim *you light up my life*

Tired. but smiling. =)

i'll post tml. nites.

.tim

111109 - pout pout pout.

wow.. today is 1111 eh... haha.. i i i i actually had so much plans.. haha.. la la la la la... anyway... today was a long and tiring day... and i keep pouting.. i dono why but it feels so fun.. =x went for super lunch with the girls. i realise we always feast! i like the food today.. eat until i explode... went jj's for mahjong.. quite fun ar.. but i missed out on the dinner.. =( pout. went back to sch cuz i had band...

band was ok i guess. had to do some urgent stuff while practicing so ya.. do do do... then practice then do then practice. rushed back home and stupidly cooked tomyam noodles with extra padi. =( pout.. stomach so pain.. dum dum. did abit of tut and now.. my brain is so dead.. im so not absorbing anything.. haha.. i dono wat i talking... maybe i use my brains too much today.. EHH! i wan astroboy. this one i cfm i wan. =D

i have so many stuff i feel like doing. haha.. but but.. for now still cannot. but im already very happy. just the tot of it puts a smile on my face. im glad and happi in many ways.. so many ways.. beauty lies in the simplicity of life. just like astroboy. pure genius + pure love + pure astroboy. ok.. im like having some world war in my head now. byebye.

.tim *imagination goes a long way*

time is all i need.

was so tired ytd... i woke up at 959 today.. and 20 sec later, my alarm rang. wow. feels so lazy.. i didnt wanna go to school but! i cannot. so ya.. dressed up, got irritated by the little one and left in a rush to school. currently having Business Outsourcing Process tutorial. bored.

lets talk abt ytd. i wan to say i want to say! CAROL SPOILT THE TABLE IN THE LECTURE HALL! haha! jj was saying, wat if u press too hard then the table break. and awhile later, it broke. omg. haha... Wrestler is like tat one.. hor carol? haha.

anyway.. ytd was such a memorable day. shant say much but ya, i remember it. every moment of it. and this song keeps ringing in my head.

.tim *you know*

101109 - a day to rmb

LONG day in sch.. so many stupid short breaks.

anyway. today is a day i will rmb! very well! =D

i cant seem to get enough of chocolate. chocolate = my life = i must eat = alot of other things! haha... im so tired today~ im like typing and falling aslp. oops! nites.

.tim

091109 - eyes and lens

my eye is so swollen like 2 fishballs.

lack slp maybe? or sth else? only i'll know. my contact lens i think, went into my eye, if not it dropped out after facing a space constrain with all the water. argh. i cant see! but i managed to find my way home. hope i don go blind. haha.

anyway. the day was so rush, sch driving and went out.. but it ended well! despite the tireness.. im smiling. =) driving was good. getting a real hang of it. i shall pass it on my first attempt! i've got plans. =) i shd change name to mr fishball eyes. nites everyone. im fine. don worry.

.tim

081109

i don wan to talk abt wat happen.

im just craving for chocolate.. alot alot alot alot alot~~~~~~

i don wan to talk.. haha. bye.

.tim

071109 - the day.

its gonna be a long post.

woke up, dyed my hair. ate lunch. did mask. dress up, prepare gift. left home. went for a concert in the evening... stomach pain. upset. question marks. went off after tat. I CUT my hair again.. its time.. its time.. i have decided. dinner. wonder and wander abt. tot thru things. i made up my mind. home. otw home, debated with the taxi uncle over which expressway to take. -.- IM ALREADY SO UPSET, CANT U JUST SHUT UP AND DRIVE? but to think of it. im happi too. i decide my future and its gonna be a good one.

==========================

Chances are limited. treasures are for you to treasure. u are responsible for it. being patient is good. being too patient is not. being nice is good. being too nice is not. being there is good. never here is not. promises are good. over-promising is not. perhaps its human nature. u don realise how fortunate u are until u lose your treasures. decisions are made.

theres only 24 hr a day. you manage it. no time? always no time? is it no time or no tots. its clear. tolerance and patience. limitless? wrong. fairness? u ask urself. have u been fair? if not don talk abt it. you had ur chances. realise it or not. take them for granted. and so be it. no one is dum. they act dum for a reason. complicated yet simple. how much do u really know. or rather. how much do u really care. you don need it at all, thats wat i see. anything too sweet becomes bitter. anyone too painful becomes numb. decisions are made.

"the sun is setting". "the sun has set". "the darkness of the night unfolds". clueless? u will soon understand. wat is true darkness? are u scared? wat abt all the promises. the truth. i know. i know. even in the darkest nights, there are moons and stars to light your path. fear not. soon, the sun will rise again. =)

to my dear fren so close to me, u feel like my identical twin. i hope u really cheer up. the sun will rise again. u have ur moon to light your path. smile. no matter wat's the outcome. no matter wat's the decision. be strong. u tot thru it. facts are laid. chances given. decision made.

==========================

i was tired. but so awake now. so many tots. all these were happening silently. read the signs. grab your chances b4 its too late. tim is very exhausted now. i wan a break. seriously enough. woo... i dono wat to do now. haha! lets play this game call "i spy". i spy the future. i smell sulphur dioxide. i feel the heat. i see red orange black gray. fear not. fear not. woo... i dono wat im saying now... i wan to eat chocolate again. i want nth more nor nth less.. chocolate. smile. =D

.tim

Answers.

just woke up. shivering. yet another bad dream.

i couldn't slp last nite. i'm wondering why sth is happening.

sometimes, when your close fren is upset. u get affected too.

maybe i was? i'm just wondering abt the short replies.

read the signs. i have my conclusion. but is it wat it really is.

hope not. i wonder if i done anything wrong.

i wonder how today will be.. i feel so ??? now.

i dono wat to do now. *shivers*

maybe... maybe...

guardian angel.

.tim *why cold me?*