291109 - Haircut!

biological clocks makes me wake up at 715 everyday. sneak back into slp.. i had a dream =D. went to church... ppl look at me like dono wat like tat.. WAT?! stop staring la. -.- went home for lunch. roast duck! haha.. taste funny thou.. my mum asked"i tot u cannot swallow?" i ans"got roast duck eh.. cannot swallow also wan eat la... " haha. i ate abit onli thou.. cant taste much..

went for a haircut with my fren. thanks for accompanying me... and thanks for saying i look like a doll.. haha.. but my hair is cute rite.. i know.. =) i saw astroboy book while shopping. I WANT MY ASTROBOY! SOMEONE WRAP UP AND GIVE TO ME =) HAHA. xmas is coming.

i wan to thank everyone.. those who helped me and those who are helping me.. thank you very much... concert week is here... jy. thanks! thank you.

.tim *uhhhhhhhhhhh. so cute!*

upset

i am upset.

but wat can i do?

291109 - ACHE. rest.

i realise i keep seeing 1111 nowadays. i realise. hmm. anyway, i spent my day resting alot today. partly cus of the medication and also the aches. omg. even a stroke on my back feels like a hard, scaring scratch. =( i is aching all over. EVERYWHERE. best of all. i is losing me voice. slowly. i was so irritated with my dad and bro. "huh? cannot hear.. wat wat?" tsk. I LOST MY VOICE ALREADY! JUST DON TALK TO ME. -.-

concert is in 1 week. im coughing quite badly. i think. i think if im still not ok, i may not play =( i don wan to keep coughing on stage.. so ARGH! so much to do. im gonna have to miss some lessons on tue.. =( =( =( exams coming! omg. im so gonna fail.. how? sad face.

its gonna be a long week next week. please go well.. oh wait.. sure go well. so ya =)

.tim *HEY! I WAN YOU!*

271109 - freak weather. exhuasted.

nth much for today i guess. freak weather. drizzle and sunny at the same time. sunny and pouring at the same time. wth? ran a few places. very tired. my fever hasnt gone down. please go away. next week is an impt week. go away. up and down. hot and cold. wat is it with fever and me? go away. 38.1 i don wanna go into the cold room again. its so COLD. =(

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Responsibilities Vs Personal Interest.

when your job gets personal. what will u do. u have to do ur job and u lose a friend. its not the first time. i blame no one. being sick and down with much more to do. i give up. do watever u wan. do watever pleases u. im tired. really tired.

Appreciation.

After doin so much. have u ever wondered if the receiver appreciates it? silly you. i guess its ok? u just wanted the person to be happy or the thing to go well. so don complain. im sure u're happi to see the thing go well. the person happi. that sense of accomplishment.

tired.

resting is preparing to walk a further distance. balance, push too much it breaks. don push no progress. its a delicate balance. 1 more week. just 1 more. 1.

reflection.

its only when u're alone or sick when u get to think super alot. realise many things. the ugly truth as they say. wat to do? u decide for urself. priority, choice, beautify it. im tired. nites.

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.tim *im scared by the freak fever. =( i wan u*

261109 - Transparent ar?

i skipped praba's tut today cuz i was aching so badly. my body aches like mad. down to the bones! wa liao. went for compensation tut. stupid ST. on the spot assign qn. =( anyway. had a few laughs with LB. sneaked out of class cuz 1) its cold, 2) i need to do band stuff. and i cant concentrate. ms tan" where u go?" oh, i stomach ache la. LB"ya, can smell" haha! funni ar?! -.- skipped IHRM cuz i cant concentrate. went for lunch with the girls.

came back. printed 1200 concert tickets. cut 1200 concert tickets. and chopped 1000 plus tickets till vivien benji and amanda came along. my legends of helpers. continued other concert stuff discussion with mr han. ok. i can say. my brain is not working today. really so slow. i cannot think well! argh. worse still, i got a cut on my finger. so pain. i cannot wash my face in peace. take things in peace. bathe and shampoo in peace. omg. did i mention. my flute got blood. -.-

am i transparent? i decided to go home earlier. i skipped my follow up. =x too tired. otw home. ppl keep walking into me. was i too silence? or wat? or am i a floating person? no rite? 1) u all like to stare at me. why? 2) now u all wanna block my way and walk into me. i wonder wats next. haha. anyway. i had alot of time to slowly think abt stuff today. i have ans. =) yawn. and ya. IF U DON NEED IT IN THE FIRST PLACE DON ASK ME TO ARRANGE FOR U. AND LATER SAY U DON NEED IT OK. happen so many times. different ppl. aiyo. i already so pfft. then u all not helping nvm la but don add. later karma ar. tsk.

a side note.

i lost my voice. my throat is pain until! =( i ate fruits for dinner. cuz i cannot swallow. im so hungry now. =( toot toot. maybe ppl will be happy. less noise.

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many a times i wonder abt my circle of frens. and also their frens. theres good and bads. does it please u to spoilt other ppl's frenship? haha. karma hor. karma ar. i won do anything. cuz i know, my fren will trust me rite. afterall they are my frens. if they don. they arent.

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.tim *i is dying to see you already. not say long not say short. imy eh*

*life is a gamble. what are the odds?*

241109 251109 - Fallen.

hi all. sorry i cant blog ytd. i was too sick. i went for band for awhile to make sure everything is in place. left in a cab. which TOOK SO LONG to get home. i was feeling sick. reach home with 38.8. no mood for food nor everything. tried to take a nap but my temp shot up. 39.4 =( by the time i seek professional help. its already 40.1. lucky to be alive rite. haha. my mummy said. ur whole body so red lo. swollen face, eyes. red red. like lobster. then i was like. huh? orh. ok.

when i was burning, i was really thinking abt i cant fall yet. theres too much to be done. keep pushing. just a week more. after tat. no prob. of cuz i tot abt the ppl who would be there for me. many questions. realise many things too. thou i was supposed to stay in. i got my way thru and manage to sneak to school for lessons and band. thou many things went wrong but manage to slowly solve it. and hey, im still alive ok. nv say die. even if u are really dying. somehow i realise my reaction became slower suddenly. my mum talked to me. i reply 4 sec later. mr Han called. i need some time to think then reply in voice. man, maybe i cooked my brains.

a side note.

i am not god. please don be so last min. after i got the things for u. u say actually don need. THANK YOU AR. make a sick person worry like a mad man and then u say no need. hi. im also a living person. my tone and attitude towards u was? and wats urs to me? i really had quite enough of everything. im planning. planning this impt decision of mine. somehow i think i will be happier.

.tim *hey, i think u're better then any medicine. i really miss u*

Wrong time to be sick.

incase i don wake up tml.

the cold got worse. running a fever now. sneeze non stop. keep falling aslp on the chair. =( its such a wrong timing. anyway. I AM GOIN TO SLP. upset upsad. i guess it was my fault i pushed to make myself stay awake. should have slept. =( nite.

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if that is part of the plan. it failed.

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.tim *i was willing to wait despite the obstacles.*

231109 - Sneeze. Circuit driving. Host+softskills. Big picture.

a little side note abt ytd.

i just recalled. my chinese is really cmi. working ytd was -.- cuz my chinese vocab is so limited. i don even know wat is "limited seats" or "dover" in chinese. haha. watever. and i slept on my table. =/ my neck and back almost broke when i work up.

today.

maybe i didnt slp well? i had a bad cold in the morning. really bad.. i keep sneezing! Miss Ong ask if im ok. need go home anot. thanks but i will stay. went for IB lecture late cuz i was hungry =x sorry guys.. everyone had to go in late and sit at the FIRST row. my burger went cold cuz shes jus infront, i cant eat. thanks jj for sending me to station! i tried my best not to sneeze in ur car =)

driving was challenging today. went into the circuit. i think need a few mroe pract. cuz cuz he keep saying wat to do.. later exam day i don rmb how? drove to sch after tat. =) but my leg hurts cuz i tink the paddle prob.. legs too long ma. wat to do.. printed posters but i realise got typo =.= wasted. today was really testing me lo.. i was tired. i was thinking abt sth. i was sick. but i had to be the host for band. today we were very honored to have with us 2 profs. Dr Vince (sax) and Dr Rowland(flute) but if u wan add Dr Goh then is 3 profs. had lessons with her. learn super alot today. both flute and softskills. i had to put my sickness, emotions, everything behind my head. and play host. i guess i did well =) Dr Rowland said i was very nice to talk to. haha. ego already. i guess i have to thank someone for training me. always sth bad happens and i still have to smile and get other things done. and yes, i have alot of small talk topics too. all because i wanna keep the convo goin on. i guess i have to thank you for that. and my other frens. and also myself. for making the effort to learn. ok. don say already. later emo. haha.Dr Rowland is a nice lady. knowledgable and all. =) she did a mini recital for us also.. nice. thank you very much =)

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lets not assume. even if it is so. does it really matter now? history = memories. i guess i can sense how u feel but lets not think too much abt it ya? =) smile smile. lets not complicate the wonderful painting of the both of you. (i hope i wrote wat i wanted to say correctly.)

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wat to wear tml? hungry. slpy. miss you.

.tim *don think too much ok? im here =)*

221109 - TIRED. Happi Bday Karlyn kayden low=)

woke up at 6 cuz working. thank you fren's daddy for sending. and thank you fren for making bread for me to eat. its very nice =) sci centre is so far away. and its so HOT like no tml. today's event was for the elderly. it reminded me abt my entre proj. saw qingmin but i think she didnt recognized me. its really not fun to compete with the loud amps. i talk until so pain lo. plus elderly ma.. must louder abit.. they are nice ppl ok.. cuz i nv had grandparents taking care of me so i always feel those kids whose grandparents are still ard like so fortunate. oh well..

came home by train.. stand leh.. is tired until! omg. got irritated by ppl at home. rest awhile, washed up and went to church. rushed down by CAB to karyln's bday. the cab got lost u know.. omg. major overcharge but oh well. we had steam boat. i tell u, its damn nice! i like i like i like... very my kind of taste.. the girls baked banana nutella chocolate cake! its like chocolate u know! i like! then had oreo cheese balls chocolate fondue. omg can. and COKE + M&M.. chocolate chocolate chocolate! im like damn happi luh. the ppl were damn fun too.. round the table, ben, benny, sar, jason, edward, vivien, esther, jerold, sarah, karyln, geraldine, hweeling, louis. so fun! the dog was so cute with his/her "RUDE". vivien and her nonsense. benji and his laughter. karlyn and her gullibility. sarah and benny with their usual. sar and his VIDEOs. everyone with their randomness. uncle auntie with their hospitality. happi. =) hapi birthday to you karlyn. stay cheers. i sent the guys home/station otw home and guess wat. its cheaper then i went there. -.-

now im home. lotsa things to do. but im tired. and i feel sth's missing.

.tim *i wan see you soon*

"keep smiling"

irritating. u and ur stupid ideas.

u got an extra line. u ask me to use. then someone say shes gonna sponsor cuz no one is using and its wasteful. now u throw it to me. ask me to pay myself. thanks ar. actually come to think of it. i also don use it anymore.. i use to use it for awhile.. cuz of some ... oh well.. GUESS IM BONDED FOR THE NEXT 2 YEARS PAYING FOR YOUR MISTAKE. thank you working adult with your empty promises. U AND UR STUPID IDEAS. anyway. i hate it when ppl give empty promises. if u cant do it. DON PROMISE AT ALL. irritating. this reminds me how much i wan u to move out. watever. i'll live with it for the next 6 mths till i get enlisted. and HOPEFULLY sent abroad. then i don have to see ur face. 4 child. all hopes on one. no wonder im stressed. thanks.

i have 2 weeks to complete it all. thank you. ppl ask why u don wan others to help. i say. its cuz of the many empty promises. watever. i Do it is faster then i ASK ppl to help. wat time already. half study. half work. still need do hse work. teach little devil. take all the attitude and yet maintain a super high GPA cuz why. all the hopes on 1. thanks ar. if i fall and faint and hopefully loss my memories. its thank to u hor. u and ur empty promise. watever la. i hate it. i hate IT. EMPTY PROMISES! ARGH. memories that huant me. im gonna emo again. thanks to another u. =(

im just venting my anger. cuz im so tired. pffffft. reminder to self.. "good intentions" ok. i shall just swallow it all. next time, i know not to trust YOU.

.tim *hey, im starting to miss you alot already*

"is this bottle empty? no. its full of empty promises"

211109 - Travel. Happi earli bday jolene.

Woke up at 8 today.. again. so tired! i wonder why. last nite i was so tired but my head was painful.. didnt slp well.. went labrador park to work today.. set up the place in the morning.. then the main event.. the boy's home guys are ok leh.. just abit rude here and there but overall they are ok la... and it rain and shine and rain and shine and rain. the wind was so strong! omg. i wan fly kite! i WANT!!!!!!!!! who wanna bring me go? =) anyway... got caught in the rain again. pfft. its a nice place thou.. i like. i wan go. =)

train to jolene's chalet. happi 21st! i was too hungry so i ate old chang kee and cup walker while waiting for vivien. =x.. oh ya.. WISH U HAPPI 21st okay! my DA JIE hor. wish u happi happi always and pretty pretty ar.. and GROW TALLER ABIT. =x jkjk.. all the best! =D hope u like the gift we got u ^^

tired.. tml 6am need wake up.. pffft

.tim *it starts tml*

"Labrador Park - Windy, clear blue sea, cruise, greens, PLAYGROUND. lovely"

201109 - Drenched. Rest.

Tiring day. lessons at 8 am. i was so lethargic.. guess wat. i slept in lecture and Charlie's angels said my neck was 90degree. omg. isnt tat super unglam? IHRM lesson was ~~ lo. my team wont the mini game cuz i was bored so i just anyhow raise.. and ms tan gave us chocolate pie! CHOCOLATE! U KNOW? CHOCOLATE?! i ate. i was hyper. then i went emo. cuz cuz cuz. stomach pain. =( and i wan chocolate.

stayed in sch to finish up the posters banners and all. i was like doing it in class lo. and can u please reply my email? =( anyway. when we were abt to leave sch. it started to rain. like snow. then suddenly the cats and dogs came crashing down. i was DRENCHED. got home, too tired. fell aslp. woke up with the. OMG, wat happen? my head hurts. and it still hurts.

next 2 days will be a long day. i have much to do. 2 more weeks. rush rush. mentally challenged. but. nv say die. soon it will be over. projects please give me a break can? tutorials step aside. concert for now. wat abt myself? hmm... next life? pffft. take care.

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i saw the numbers on the watch. but do they have a meaning? only i will know. =]

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.tim *its been barely a day but i have to say. imy. hope the next few days will be easy to pass*

191109 - im FINE. "its true! i tell u, its true!"

1 word. Exhausted.

long long day. MOODSWING? even ms tan ask if im ok. haha. thank you everyone. the kid is FINE. he is really really FINE. thank you very much. lessons as usual. headed to band room awaiting C.O.'s arrival to collect the chimes. piano awhile. see HAN regarding concert. gosh. lots to do. im fine. band room again. this time no piano. =( lie on the platform. stare blank. went for a short walk to sbm block and back. sat down. think. ok. nvm. i shall go home. then i change my mind. i wan to eat. HUNGRY. ate chicken rice with lets see 4 serving of chilli. someone call me a chilli monster! tsk. ya, stomach pain. stayed out for awhile then home. gonna do tut and slp i guess. im so tired. really really tired.

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always go for wat u really want. tats wat im doing right now.

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.tim *thank you*

181109 - Silly Choices

the day was such a silly one. i CABBED to sch cuz i tot im gonna be late and i don wan to miss the class. and guess wat. theres onli this 2 hr tut and THE TUTOR WAS SICK. everyone came for nth. no prior notice. nothing. wasted cab fair. wasted trip. blah blah.

went for brunch with the girls and sufri, halif. bought koi and decided to stroll back to sch. piano therapy for awhile. did tut. some band publicity stuff. and ya. paino again. then dinner and band. i realise. i lost my appetite for everything. and i was screaming and shouting.. haha.. tired maybe?

band was ok. cuz i was abit pek chek so i decided to just forget everything and pract. guess wat. i am 90% confident with my parts. and i was still quite distracted. sorry ben. took up alot of time to go thru with me. and thank you! very patient. very encouraging. thanks.

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Student. Musician. Leader. Brother. Son. Friend.

obligations. passion. rest.

lots to do. as usual. nth is impossible. just how long can you last.

physiological. physical. emotional.

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Treasures. choices. emotions. time.

when things you need/want seems so near. it moves away from you again.

continue pursuing it? give up? choices again.

life is simple. you complicate it.

solution; REMOVE foreign contaminant and its simple again. don bring in things or stuff that is not in the picture. wat matter most is wat u really want/need. cheers.

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rain. pain.

don rain so much can? its painful.

the usual + on offs. it turns you off.

all i need. CHOCOLATE.

chocolate is my life. my motivation. my passion.

.tim *all i need is just chocolate*

Smile. =)

Smile alright. =) should always take everything with a smile. cheer up.

tml's gonna be a new and better day.

=D look at my hand

.tim *i'm sorry. =)*

171109 - soul-less

i lost myself. again. im just a floating shell. missed my bus in the morning. tot of train but who knows. i overshot my stop and i was late. sch was blank. mine was somewhere else. and i will use the overhead bridge if theres one from now on. my back and leg hurts.

i am sad. leave me alone.

.tim *were u serious?*

161109 - Moody. Raindrops.

Today's a busy and moody day. raindrop keeps falling on my head. lessons were ok. wanted to skip IB for watever reason but didnt. rushed home for driving lessons. driving was ok... nth much.. drove in the rain today. at first scary. then ok already.. scary cuz its so noisy.. and irritating. but rest was ok.. i anyhow drive again. no mood. went home. HUNGRY LIKE DONO WAT. ate plain bread. tsk. NTH at home to eat. rest awhile. fell aslp. someone came. woke me up. irritated. decided to go into the room lie down awhile and dressed up for sch again. went amk to get koi for amanda. sch, sian. no piano for me today. upset. band was ok. shall not say much. mood is sian. everything also sian. headache again. dot dot dot. hais. SIAN!

sometimes u wonder if this is really you. u didnt knw u could do such things. u go the extra mile.. and maybe its time to draw a line. anyway.. headache.. nite.

p.s. i wan my chocolate!

.tim *sometimes u wonder how u could miss someone so much. imy*

151109 - Jerold's 20

wow! so many november babies! happi birthday jerold! =)

before meeting up with the rest, decided to ask kor out for cake.. BUT as usual.. they don have the cake i wanted. so we made do with icecream.. i had topless 5 + chocolate fudge, marcus ate chewy chocolate sth sth.. haha both of us went.. AIYO, STOMACH PAIN LEH. met up with the rest later on.. went to spizza to surprise jerold. i think esther is such a sweet girl.. every year, she plans sth for jerold.. so nice rite.. tsk tsk..

went home after tat... headache ar.. i dono why... tml theres sch and driving.. then band. hope i get better. and this is the song of my nite.. it rings in my mind.. i dono why also... =)

.tim *wat matters is that we are in our hearts*

141109 - sleepy head. stop staring

131109 - Carol's Birthday!

happi birthday carol!

went to bugis for steamboat to celebrate.. the food was ok.. we planned a surprise which didnt go as much as we planned. but SHE was abit surprised.. and best of all. happy =) tats most impt.. oh man... we braved the rain to go to the steamboat place.. and i went to fetch the blur mr halif.. and i got wet. -.- while lighting the candles. she already saw us.. ahhh... =( but haha.... everyone was happi =)

after steamboat when walking ard bugis.. took neoprints and off we go. went to find my fren after tat for chillax.. cold and rainy nite. i like the calming feel but my back so pain =( went for a walk and got scared by an ah neh.. no wonder they say fri 13 is a black friday.. black indeed.

and wats with ppl and staring at me. don so rude leh.. i paranoid leh.. u all wan stare don let me know ok... thank you... =) im jus another average kid.. stare at me makes me feel like.. wat? got sth on my face is it? or did i do sth wrong?

141109 - sleepy head

i dono why i slept so much today.. just so lazy.. pfft.. eat and slp, eat and slp. like a pig. i guess its good in a way? cuz i haven been sleeping enough... today catch up ar.. but slp too much now abit headache already.. and i feel so fat! omg. i ate so much. nth much already i guess... i am goin to bed soon.

.tim *every moment, every tot*

131109 - black friday

121109 - movie was a disappointment

nth much happened today... watch a movie.. sorry my fren, haha.. i got at fright towards the end i and i think i grab too hard... the day ended well.. i am still happi despites external influences. thank you.

131109 - black friday

i already don like them. and they make it even so. am so tired now. nites all. blog tml.

.tim *you light up my life*