stupidity

hate myself for being dum.

i know it will happen.

its not the first time.

should have known better.

now things are worse.

remind myself to just my mouth.

less talk.

i have my bottle and book.

use it.

.tim

*im lost, slpless nites. huanted tots.*

hello all...

today is yet another boring day...

went out for lunch then headed home.

drown myself with taptap revenge 2 on my sis iphone...

blast music...

and like.. do nth...

i pack my table.. and vacumme abit..

i was so free, i decided to become a housewife...

this is another nice song.

.tim

*i ran out of reasons to go on. my mind says let go, but my heart is still holding on.*

When I'm With You.

When I'm With You lyrics

Saw you walk into the room
Thought I'd try to talk to you
Babe am I ever glad you wanted me too
It's been two years to the day
Half the time I've been away
I know I'm not there enough
But that's gonna change
Cuz' I'm coming back to show you that I'm keeping the promise I made

When I'm with you
I'll make every second count
Cuz I miss you
Whenever you're not around
When I kiss you
I still get butterflies years from now
I'll make every second count when I'm with you

Yeah we've had our ups and down
But we've always worked them out
Babe am I ever glad we've got this far now
Still I'm lying here tonight
Wishing I was by your side
Cuz when I'm not there enough
Nothing feels right
So I'm coming back to show you that
I'll love you the rest of my life

When I'm with you
I'll make every second count
Cuz I miss you
When ever you're not around
When I kiss you
I still get butterflies years from now
I'll make every second count
When I'm with you

Whatever it takes I'm not gonna break the promise I made
When I'm with you
I'll make every second count
Cuz I miss you

When I'm with you
I'll make every second count
Cuz I miss you
Whenever you're not around
When I kiss you
I still get butterflies years from now
I'll make every second count
(Make every second count)
When I'm with you
When I'm with you
When I'm with you
When I'm with you
Yeah

the lyrics says it all.

*b~ imylc*

brainwash

its so difficult to forget abt sth..

even thou u manage to..

it lurks in ur mind subconciously.

its been there... the more u don wanna think.

the more u will think.

tell me wat to do now. i cant stop thinking..

.tim

*its been almost 31 hrs. im not upset but rather, im worried. did sth happen to u? please don ignore me.*

boring

its bored bored bored saturday.

woke up by the hse phone.

lied in bed.

thinking.

wash up.

online.

tv.

and now... i guess im gonna shower and head over to church.

haha.. bored like theres no tml.

.tim

*its been more then 24hrs since the last contact*

heavy head...

uhhh... my head feels so heavy..

the air feels so humid.... so moist... breathe until the boi's head feels so heavy...

hmm.. so wat have i been doin today?

nth much.. went out for lunch with joseph... then ya.. head home and did nth..

nua ard... watch tv.. slp abit.. think alot... lols..

the boi's tots:

i was thinking abt wat my fren told me on the last day of sch.

abt this sentence. "有男朋友好像没有男朋友！”

think think think... like..

ya lo... if one is like free, the other is not free.. then seldom meet..

like seldom get to spend time together...

then last nite she asked me... shd she go work..

then i say ya, u shd.. cuz we were saying like... no work no money.. then so free nth to do...

work then scared no time go out... but i think think think.. maybe its good ar... cuz the bf also busy.. u make urself busy u won think so much... maybe it sounds like u're jus lying to urself but at least u feel better... haha... no matter wat... they are still goin strong and tats they way...

no matter wat... they can still rely on each other... they are there for each other when they need.. so sweet! haha...

so tat's one of today's random tots.. and i feel like eating so many things..

ayam penyet... more chilli please..

satay...

laksa...

waraku's hot stone bowl udon!

mof soft serve ice cream...

blah blah...

and also.. to spend more time with my friend. not friends. friend. =)

oh well.. i shall find sth to do.. haha =)

.tim

*waiting patiently for that reply*

hello all...

i chance upon this song...

and i like the lyrics...

In Love With You Forever - Elliot Yamin

I'm gonna mind what my momma once told me
Don't fall in love if you can't fall all th ewway
She said go find yourself a dream girl give her every part of your world
JUst hold on tight and never let her slip away
And when I saw you that rainy nigh tin Cleveland
You lit me up like the sun lights up the moon
And that feeling I felt then
Every day it comes again
Yeah it feels my heart completely
You mean everything to me

And I'm in love with you forever
I'm in love with you forever
I'm in love with you forever till I die
We're always going to be together
I'm never gonna leave you never
I'm in love with you forever till I die
Rain or shine
I am yours, you are mine

My mind don't change with the weather
It will stand through the wind and the hurricanes
All around we can see love ain't all it used to be
But that just make smy heart grow stronger
It just makes my love last longer

And I'm in love with you forever
I'm in love with you forever
I'm in love with you forever till I die
We're always going to be together
I'm never gonna leave you never
I'm in love with you forever till I die
Rain or shine
I am yours, you are mine

And you are mine, yeah
Cause you are mine, oh yeah
I said you are mine, ohhh

And I'm in love with you forever
I'm in love with you forever
I'm in love with you forever till I die
We're always going to be together
I'm never gonna leave you never
I'm in love with you forever till I die
And I'm in love with you forever
I'm in love with you forever
I'm in love with you forever till I die
I'm never gonna leave you never
Always going to be together
I'm in love with you forever till I die
Rain or shine
I am yours, you are mine

You are mine
You are mine
You are mine
You are mine
You are mine
You are mine

==================================================

*for you =)*

tell me

change is inevitable.

change is everywhere.

change is good.

change is bad.

hmm.. things have change from many angles in the past few mths...

maybe i am retard or wat but i kinda still living in the past...

i know things are happening.. maybe its jus me... or is it not...

lately... i feel the ans is smurged...

wats the point really...

i dont know...

tell me..

so wat if i don wan it to change...

i guess its time to move...

thou its hard but life gotta go on...

so oh well...

i'll take it as it comes...

thank you for the past.

i appreciated it =)

---------------------------------------

its been days...

days past... things happened...

how long more? tats not was i ask...

but, is this how it shd be? this is was i wanna know.

the habit comes and go...

i saw it came.. i saw it go... and here it comes again...

is this how it shd be?

if its so.. i have to know...

lurking in the dark...

blind, cold, clueless...

wheres the light...

that shining star?

i think i know...

tats for me to know..

------------------------------------------------------

jus some random tots again.. haha... shopped alittle today..

im saving the splurging till im with my frens... later buy wrong things again... then nv wear.. haha... yup... tim is hungry... very hungry... but no appetite... sad... hmm... chocolates... lollipops...

.tim

telepathy or intuition?

do you believe in telepathy or intuition?

have u ever slept and woke up just before your phone rang?

like u know tat person's gonna call you.

have u ever fall sick when someone is sick?

have u ever experience the pain when someone is hurt?

its quite unexplainable thou... its like the 2 person became one... they are linked...

nothing much was said but they know wat each other is feeling...

even if they are far apart.. their telepathy nv fails...

its jus like this "miles apart but always near"

its kind of a good feeling thou.. it keeps you warm on cold nights..

reassure u when u're scared.. its nice... =)

but how many ppl have already experience it? i dono but its good to have.. haha..

jus a random tot in my dreams.. =)

.tim

*i found mine... im glad i did.. imy*

Exams are over.

yup.. exams are over..

lets recap.

E&IR

tim was overconfident and finish the 2 hr paper in abt half the time.. left cuz he wanna go to the toilet... then ya.. later found out he got careless mistakes... oh did he mention.. he drop his temp sticker only to find out after the exam tat it was on his notes... stupidly, he had to run down to get the sticker again b4 he could enter the exams.

WHP

the paper was ok ok ba... nth much.. maybe a B

ok.. so tats so much for the exams.. so wat have this boy been up to lately? seriously! nth much... friday went for sarah and jingsi's bday party at ECP... haha.. =) went off at 6am. and sat nite.. omg... he got virus infection in the stomach again... yes.. again.. so he was puking and shitting all night long... its really gastric pain until like theres no tml.. worse then giving birth.. and ya.. saw the doctor.. but puke again.. glad to know, hes feeling quite ok already.. =)

so wats up next..

tuesday, tats tml.. nth in the day... Dr Goh's concert at esplanade in the evening... hmm.. and carol is asking me to go drink on sunday... LOL...

tim wans to work... hes under-employed... like hes really bored sitting at home doing nth... yup... tats all for now i guess.. till we meet again... see u bloggie...

.tim

*mind control.. im trying my best =)*

.iobelttilippah

tim shall blog abt today.

woke up, wash up, study.. cook mushroom cheese pasta! study.. slp.. study, slp... go out... eat... study... eat.. come home... online.. apologise... ans exam enquires... phone.... shower... online... fb... study.. blog...

okie.. lame... haha... hmm.. went to popseye for supper/dinner? i dono.. haha.. ok lo.. the food is ok lo... like ok... nth special... =x hmm.. ATTITUDE problem employees... but i don blame them.. seems like they are not motivated.. maybe low hourly rate of pay? no benefits? haha.. wat! im a HR student wat... =D yup... tml is EnIR.. hopefuly i can do well to make up for HBO... and ya.. JY for WHP... i am motivated now.. =D

thank you. im really very happi.. and motivated... enjoyed. happi. =)

well.. shall not beomce mr. chatterbox... off to be mr nerd... =)

.tim

*ty.*

First Paper

HBO was shitty... lost 20m straight.. cuz i skip childhood... oh well.. moving on..

wed is EnIR.. hopefully its better... =) was pretty upset cuz i told mummy i this paper sure flunk then she say no luh.. my son so smart sure can get good grades.. wa.. i stress... =x..

slp most of the day, wasnt feeling too well.. haha.. headache ar.. but noe okok le..

im happi today thou.. very happi... =)

this is a nice song.. =)

.tim

*thank you for being my light =)*

Human Behavior

yup.. having a paper on it tml... 9am..

im like not half done but ya.. gonna take it easy..

i don like the module but i think its nice too.. i dono.. haha..

i learn why some ppl act tat way... which makes me even scarier..

oh well.. lets jy ba..

.tim

* =) jiayou kaes. *

[insert title here]

totally moodless and feelingless.

i don't know what to feel, how to feel, when to feel.

i don't know what to do.

i don't know why.

tell me.

.tim

*[fill in the blanks]*

こんばわ～

いと。。。。こちらは、わたしの心の愛。（：

あなたは、おげんきですか？

so wat did this crap do today... went out to celebrate weixin's birthday but sadly, gotta leave earli.. exams + mummy = omg. HAPPY 18th birthday u thai slut... haha.. may u be as slutishly bitchy forever. =) oops... haha.. ya, all the best to u! may ur wishes come true!

so sad! i miss out on all the fun.. anyway.. i learn how to swim abit.. after being throw into the pool, with my left contacts running into the back of my eye. haha! i was thinking.. if it was other ppl, what would i have done to them. firstly, stare, then depending on the mood at the moment, punch, kick, slap, pinch.. i dono.. haha.. but ok, it was quite fun... =]

yup.. headed home with the sian mood... and fell aslp in the bus and got woken up... hmm.. oh ya... did i mention... i don like strangles talking to me? haha.. someone irritated the hell out of me today... like! hello... alone time for awhile please... wrong timing luh... caught me in my exam and leave me alone mood... poor thing... haha.. ignores...

so ya... enough crapping.. im hungry again... hmm.. maggie? maybe... haha.. oh ya.. forgot to mention, i saw cherry at tampines... (in case she reads and accuse me of not featuring her) okie.. bye peeps.

.tim

*motivation*

おはよございます～

おげんきですか？

=) yup... rather earli today... haha.. i think i lost my feelings while slping last nite.. i don feel anything.. like a stone... living under the rock... hmm... feel so sian... don feel like doing anything thou... miss using my jap.. maybe i shd blog in jap.. this way.. no one uds... haha... ok... talking nonsense again...

hmm... thou i slept for like 6 hrs.. but it feels as thou i nv... i think i was having a dream? i cant rmb... but there were flashbacks... like im going to die... then suddenly got a life review.. lol... then i start to think... eh.. did i do all those? wow... is it worth it anot... haha... sometimes, its not.. sometimes it is... oh well... only i will know myself...

hmm... 3 papers... just get it done and over with ba.. 1 week... after tat, holiday! hk shopping~ ok... sth to look forward to... =) ok tim.. stop crapping... no one's reading... haha... bye.

.tim

*behind those feelings*

EXAMS!

ok.. reality check timmie... exams are like... next week? OMG!

so how much have i study.. like.. 2 %? omg!~ die ar...

haha... who ask tim.. slack slack slack... not motivated... skip lect, skip tut... funfair ar... see luh.. now have to work so hard... waste time here and there... slap! now wake up and study liao... don flunk! don make ur 2 1/2 years effort go to waste... not worth risking... its jus another challenge that tim will overcome... im tim eh... nth is impossible.. for IMPOSSIBLE = It Means POSSIBLE... =)

today went out for abit... watch abit of fireworks... but whole day.. just have the floating feeling... haha... so tim floated... then dizzy... then blank out... haha.. why! scary leh... please hor.. wan boom also after exams please... 2 more weeks... ok... can one can one... jy! *im scared, i don wan it to happen.. but it just does... i don wan to say.. i don wan ppl to worry...*

hmm.. so now.. shall stop fb and other stuff ba... focus abit... 1 week plus onli.. can one.. after tat can go enjoy all i wan le.. yea... physco myself... haha... yup... look forward to holidays! finally some rest... =)

.tim

*b~ lets jy tgt.. i dono how i can help u but i will support u in watever way i can.. our love is my motivation.*

tots

i have rashes on the back of my neck...

its irritating... ahh! hate it... =( im like scar... sad leh... ugly as i already am.. im even uglier now...

hmm.. went for ichiban udon feast at amk hub today... cuz i felt like eating it... then went for UP 3D today.. hoping i will feel better but no diff... then had bbtea at usual then MOF jap ice cream.. dono wats the name but its nice.. i like it.. =) shall go again soon... haha..

hmm... i have been thinking... how shd i react to some situation.. and im trying to do it... hope things will get better... but how long do i have to do this... holding back is not me... but... i'll do it... for the better of it.. i will... =) i can do this... i will control.. =D

.tim

*endless tots, but jus 3 words for you...*

tiring day...

went out to meet my fren and had ayam penyet at lucky plaza! nice...

tml shall start studying le... jy tim.

test results came out today... its the same old list of old probs... plus a few new ones? haha...

and a whole nex box of 'sweets' hate them but gotta finish them... hmm... =)

.tim

*im scared b... i wan to be well.. we still got lots of plans... hmm.. nathaniel & adeline... lols... so fast decide already ar... haha... hope things will continue to be good*

ups and downs

sunday was a tiring day... ran a few places... haha...

i went home, in a stonning state. then nua on the bed and stare into blank space.

haha... i shall name myself... eh u stoner... stop stonning.... stone stone stone. u rock ar...

haha... i think the human body is wonderful. it has all these fail save mechanism.... it work wonders.

ok... random.... *sneeze* stupid sinus...

.tim

*timmie is strong... he can do it.... i am strong. =)*

sometimes i hate myself for thinking so much.. why am i able to predict wat ppl are thinking? why did i show that side of me..

all i wanted was things to get better.. wat should do now.. i'm sorry.. really really sorry... i don want to loss it.. i regret.. wat was i thinking.. Haix..

wat should i do now...

reflection

=) many things happened this week... so i relflected...

hmm... heres a quote from my good fren.

"don promise sth that u cannot do. cuz if u break it, the person will be even sadder."

i think its damn true lo... like wat we learn in CRM, nv overpromise the customer. however, go the extra mile and ur customer will feel treasured. i guess i am too nerdy.. im applying everything i learn into life... even when i play games... i will calculate rate of return on investment b4 i decide wat to invest on... oh tim... slaps...

hmm... many things happened maybe cuz i think too much? or i rely too much on others... i have tot thru wat happen... and came to a conclusion of how i wan to resolve it... haha... things will get better ba.. i need to bare with it..=) jy timmie..

.tim

*i wan spend time with u*

Bad Day

today is like PMS day lo..

haha.. everyone is stepping on my toes today...

and i hate waiting... haha..

stupid traffic police department... so slow...

if its restaurant city.. i think they died already...

stupid... until now i still don have my pdl.. how to start learning... uhhhh

i wan to drive soon.. shall be a good boy and hope santa give me a car... =)

tim is thinking too much lately... he needs to do sth... but he dono wat...

sian... wat shd i do tml...?

.tim

*imy*

this feeling feels like 27july09,

outside van gogh musuem at Amsterdam, Netherlands.

don feel like talking... just wanna be alone.

.tim

*when teardrops turn dry*

deep tots

what have the boy been doin today?

thinking and more thinking... have been mood swinging since last nite.

i think alot alot alot... many many tots..

today's a rotten mood day for me...

decided to meet up with some of my frens.. hoping to distract myself...

but i think even more... maybe cuz the subject wasnt there for me...

this was wat i concluded.

========================

when you are down, whos there for u?

when u need someone the most, whos there for u?

who is the person who really understand u.

who is the person who u can trust.

whos can be your eyes, your ears, your support?

who can you rely on?

many other qns pop out... these are just some...

for 19 years of my life... friends come and go... i lived thru it...

once a while, my little guardian angel appears and walk me thru my darkest times.

and today, when my sunshine and rainbow when on holiday..

the person who i want to be with wasnt there...

i dono how to react now... im back to the old self... its again, me myself and i.

i like to think think think. i like to bottle it up.

sometimes, i just don feel like talking... maybe cuz its beyond words.

and sometimes, its nice to have someone who really uds u to be there for u.

know how to cheer u up.. but today... i saw myself thru. me myself and i.

oh well... emo tots again... tats y i decided to add a rainbow to my blog... hopefully, it cheers me up.

.tim

*where were you?*

Relationships

Relationships,
to me, it revolves around 4 key attributes.
1) Paitence
2) Understanding
3) Trust
4) Maintainance

no matter wat happens in a relationship, one has to be paitent and understanding.. and put oneself in the other's shoes and u'll see why they acted that way. sometimes, in a moment of folly, we may sprout insensitive remarks.. humans are humans, we make mistakes... sometimes selfishness overtakes humanity.. ur frens may become selfish-er.. and all u do is to hate them.. have u tot of why this happen? does the friendship between you over the years mean nth? things happen for a reason, choose not to blame but to solve and support.

Trust is very important. no matter wat are the rumours flying around.. no matter wat u think he or she is doin. u should always trust ur fren. isnt that the way things shd be? why should be believe others and spoilt ur wonderful frenship? lols.. things tat i don uds... rumours are rumours.. see for urself to believe... even if its true, there must be a reason tat it happened.. lols...

so wat if u have a wonderful fren.. if u don maintain it... it will be gone soon... haha... relationship is jus like a balancing scale... its a joint effort to balance it.. gif and take... do unto others wat u wan others to do unto u.. but don expect a return for u will be sad if u do get it.. but if u don expect it and u got it.. it comes as a suprise.. isnt it better? lols...

==================================

many a times we see our frens having probs.. but theres onli so much we can do... haha... oh well.. i kinda dono wat im blogging le..

-tim-

*imyhrtwj...*

Holland! (:

hello everyone...

hows life? heard that its like hot in singapore now... hmm.. its kinda hot ytd too.. but today its quite cold... like aircon lo... abit lower ba.. haha... but still.. we're wearing shorts and all... lols..
hmm... everything here is okok ba... practice eat and practice or shop... theres really nth much to shop for... the majority in the town are like.. elderly... so ya.. nth much lo.... but they have nice scenery.. (:

hmm... actually its kinda tired being a leader... haha.. sometimes u wish u could jus let everything go and like.. be a normal person.. all i wan is jus to be a normal person and enjoy my life... haha... and shittiness lo... so many projs... when im away... and if suay suay i got quarrentined i will die a terrible death... really badly... haha.... oh well.. we'll play by the ear ba... hmm... i miss so many ppl... daddy mummy jiejie didi korkor... my other band frens, my classmates and like frens and my Babyy!!!

hmm.. competition is like in 2 days? omg.. scary eh... JYJY!!! we must get the gold.. haha...

hmm.. tim is signing off le ba.. its like.. my bed time.. 1 am already...

.tim
*babyy... i miss u so much... jus a few more days babyy.... imy ily iwy... (:*

hello everyone.

in a few hrs time. tim will be away... for 10 days.. cut off from singapore communications... tats so sad... so so sad... haha...

i was packing whole nite... and like.. ok.. my luggage like so empty can.. omg.. like i forget to bring alot of things like tat... hmm.. how sia...

anyway... projects are stil hanging.. hais.... how sia! tsk! i don wan to be a free loader... tats so irritating... i don wan to be an irritating burden.. lols..

hmm.. dono wat to write le ba... tats all..

take care eveyrone.. i m goin to miss u all...

*hrtwj, please take good care of yourself! thou we are distants apart... but we're right beside each other.. staring at the same sky*

flying soon

haha... yup... todays is like sat already.. and im flying tml..
and i stil have not packed...

oh well.. haha.. do it later ba...

hmm... ytd i screamed at the band.. lol.. sorry... i think i was kinda worked up ba.... not feeling too well too... hmm...=)

anyway... hope things will go well...

tats all fornow... shall blog again later...

byebye...

*ilyb*

wandering thinking reflector

its been a busy day today...
had sch... but its like as if i wasnt there at all... i nv study.. at all! whole day have been thinking and thinking...

maybe trying ur best is not good enough... theres always 101 things to do... ppl say just keep trying and trying... but sometimes.. u try so hard... but they jus don wan to move! wat shd u do then? i carn possibly give up rite? just keep pushing and pushing...

haha... like... i dono how to say lo... maybe it all boils down to me... im not doin a good job ba... its like... maybe i shd have been firmer and stick to my initial plans... wouldnt cause so much trouble for everyone.. and now im like, goin to cause sth bad to happen... wat if nv get it? its in my hands tat this has happen... i need solutions... how how how... talking and motivating jus don work.. go the hard way? how hard shd it be.. the limit? not much time left... there onli so much u can do now... PLEASE let things be better... im running out of brain cells le... i don wan to freak out in the middle of the nite again.. i don wan to be paranoid... i want to trust them! they can do it.. yes they can! i shall give it another shot! i trust i believe.. when u believe it, u will see it...

5 more days... wat shd i do.... what do i have to do... wat will i do...

haha... u know... my stomach is so pain now i can sit up straight... and guess wat... my nose bleed... LOL too heaty le ba... shall drink more water...

*i wan to tell u but i don wan u to worry... its jus like tat [ ] u see... carn be put into words*

hello (:
today is saturday... like in 1 week's time i will be byebye in the plane le... haha.. well.. the pass few days was quite hectic as expected... alot to do alot alot to do... hmm... ytd sth bad happen... and i panicked... and like left abit earlier.. i think i was like white face red eyes? scary... haha.. fortunately i had wonderful exco who i can trust...

oh well.. today i woke up at 645? haha... then slp then wake then slp.. till 11? woke up use comp.. eat lunch and do my entre website... more or less done le ba... =) its simple.. hope its ok ba.. haha.. lalalala... tim ar tim... u still got alot more projects to do and test to study hor hor.. rmb rmb.. list them down..

EnIR
CRM ICA 3
CRM ICA 4
WHP
HBO
HRD
Entre

i don wan to be a free loader hor! i wan do my part! roar!!!! but im gone for like 2 weeks.. with no internet!!! aiyo! how how how!!!! i must do sth abt it... think! tim think!!!!

oh ya... next week everyday band.. onli tuesday free but ya.. end at 6... haha.. not much of a rest day... think i will go practice my part ba... hmm...
oh ya.. thursday 16th july.. FTT 415... haha.. haven even touch the book.. DIE! haha... and yes... i still gotta pack my lagguage! omg... omg omg omg.. haha... siao ar...

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

its been a mth of ups and downs...

but im happy abt it..

i see my rainbow from afar...

its a journey i choose...

i live it.. the way i wan.. (:

happi 1 mth babyy.

.tim

yet another sleepless nite

haha! yes.. yet another slpless nite! omg! can feel the weight of my eye lids..
ytd was a hectic day... rush ard.. hmm.. u know.. for the first time... i fell aslp during CRM Lab! omg.. first time! haha... its either the video is boring or im jus too tired... haha.. i think its cuz im overworked... haha...

hmm.. sch ended at 6, rushed for dinner at koufu... the tasteless tom yam ramen.. think my taste buds decided to slp first.. haha.. rush to band room.. like make sure everything is taken care of.. haha.. u know.. ppl talk to me.. its like left in right out? i cannot uds or absorb... OMG... first time.. oh well..
so yup.. i ran between band room and business block.. rushing my project and multitasking at band... haha.. i almost rolled down the stairs... almost... but nv.. =)

my friend got me brownies... its very very very nice okie! really... can feel the love... it got me thru the night ok... till now.. im still munching on it.. =) my motivation.. xD mad mad me... hmm.. went to macs after band and reach home like 1 am.. then chiong the stupid proj... hate it!

Hmm... i shd go prepare le ba... sch at 9.. omg! haha... so much to do.. so much to bring.. and im so slpy...

-zombie timmieboi-

*thanks for being there! -muacks! =)*

more time?

hello...
im back again.. just got home? and think i don need to slp le ba...
projects.. and more projects... hate it...

im flying in 2 weeks... i really have not enough time... schedule clashing... its been almost a mth... haven got a proper one... haha.. i kinda sad... hmm.. maybe one shd learn to listen harder? things loss it's intended meaning when its repeated.. like a joke.. first time is funni.. say a few more times.. it becomes lame... haha...

i really dono wat im thinking... im always on this roller coaster of ups and downs... now im at the down again... wat shd i do? wat am i really thinking? the mind is but an organ... a simple yet complicated one... its kinda having a war now... today is a war day for me... and sneeze sneeze.. its cold...

1 word for me... upset...

tim is signing off to shower and do his proj.. not planning to sleep.. so if u see him, please leave him alone... ty...

-timmieboi-

*i really dono wat to do already*

life is a learning journey

life is a learning journey...
we are learning everyday... today i learnt more about you.. thanks for being there... thanks for understanding... we're both learning... more abt you.. and more abt me... actions speaks louder then words.. but words are easier to understand... it takes time... i dont know everything.. if you dont tell me.. i'll nv know... jus like if i don tell u, u'll nv know.. so let's talk when we shd... haha... im happi really.. im glad theres u... the telepathy.. the co-incidence... they are unexplainable.. but i only know.. i have tat 5 words for u... with a left bracket and a colon....

-timmieboi-
*hrtwj... you're my sugar rush... (:*

konnichiwa...

today is a sunday... but i don feel sunny at all.. lol..

ytd went for NP concert with miki, denise, kesha and leon...

we saw fireworks during intermission... =) hmm... after tat wanted to go tou hua de.. but kesha and leon gtg.. so miki denise and me walk there.. like WALK u know.. and its so hot... navigated with gps and denise's brain...

omg... ytd i was totally imageless.... sugar rushed all nite long... talking nonsense... singing and whining.. its so not me! there goes my image... LOL... but ya... how often do u see it... hmm.. got sugar low after tat.. emo... haha.. tim is such a nonsense guy... i think everyone is scared of me like after last nite... "keep away" sign... =x

want to drop at AMK then take bus.. but! my ezlink when cash low... omg... so had to jus train straight to hougang instead... =/ oh well.. went home... wanted to do proj but cant concentrate.... yup.. waited and waited.. then decided to slp at 3?

hmm.. sch starting tml... tuesday presentation... like.. omg... hais... its goin to be a very stressful 2 weeks for me! hopefully i find time to meet up with the ppl i need and must meet... hopefully i rmb to pack my stuff... hmmm... shd be employing all possible help to get thru already ba...

-TiM-

anyway... im upset... haha... ok.. i know i shdnt be but.. im like tat wat.. i get jealous very easily ma.. u also know... then then.. like hais.. nvm la.. i don wan talk abt it le... *silently.. beyond words..*

Plan B

Sinfonique 09 is cancelled.
like omg? all the efforts... the planning.. the sleepless nites... everyone kinda put in so much and its cancelled... like.. SAD! but wat can we do... stupid H1N1... hate it... cause so much probs... SHOO SHOO! go away.. don come back... argh....

pack pack pack.. no concert but still got lotsa band pract in preparation for WMC... 2 more weeks! 2 mroe weeks to finish all my proj.. 2 more weeks to perfect my songs... 2 more weeks... jus 2 more... the last lap...

anyway.. today had montfort band BBQ... not bad la hor.. see alot of ppl that nv saw for quite some time le.. haha... quite fun la.. chat abit..

anyway.. today's mood is a roller coaster... i was home like 10 am? slept alittle.. then did work.. then bbq then find fren then home... i dono leh.. today's mood like abit sensitive? and jus got a feeling like my fren nv do the promised thing.. like have fun then forgot abt it already... and i dono watever im doing is rite anot... oh well... shall not think abt it ba... let fate decide... tim is hungry now.. he shall stop here...

-end of rubbish..-

*hrtwj... hais... forgot? / planned? / sianed?.. i really dono wat u are thinking... hais.. so sad*

im jus wondering wat will happen to someone who don slp alot everyday...
i wonder where is the limit... where is the crumbling zone...
i wonder wat will happen when all thing fails...
i wonder when will it all end
i wonder why i even get myself into it
i wonder if theres a time machine
i wonder i wonder....

i know wat to expect
i know wats to come
i know wats the outcome
i know i know

i do not want
i do not need
i do not seek
i do not anticipate

i need more time
i need some help
i need a break
i need myself and my babyy

oh well... thing are bad.. really bad... time to plan.. and plan again... the signs have to be ignore... don have much of a choice... i'll just let it crumble when it needs too... i'll just do the max i can.. and let fate take over...

-TiM signing off and not blogging for now.... take care all-

*hrtwj... so much to say... but just dont know how... the 3 letters say it all...*

Hello... =)
Im like sitting outside the band room now... haha.. came to sch to do work cuz tot i can concentrate... but like no use ar.. still quite distracted... haha... sot de eh..

anyway.. heres a nice video someone showed me... =)
oh well.. shall try to do work now... =)


*timmie loves his honey red tea with jelly... =)*

[someonesaveme!]

oh well.. things happen for a reason? but wat is it? things haven been going well.. like why why why?

its beyond my control... but can i do sth abt it? im trying very hard to stop it from happening.. but it just.. i cant do work.. carn think... carn focus... i need a remedy...

am i just too stress again? but isnt it term break? ain i supposed to be less stress? maybe theres jus too much to do ba... tim! =] bare with it...

i have to control myself... i have to.. i carn be doing wat i do now... i will go crazy soon... and i hate blood.. worse of all.. i don like to see you pek chek..
things will get better in time... =) smile tim... smile.... =)

[the unspoken]

hmm.. looks like its 1 more week added to term break... doesnt mean less things to do lo.. means more pack actually... haven been eating well or slping well since i got ill... haha... like im hungry now but dono wat to eat...

concert in 2 weeks eh.. omg... and in 3 weeks/ 23 more days im flying.... means i need to finish alot alot of things b4 i fly lo... omg... really omg... like not enough time.. seriously... ahh...

the unspoken... the quiet side... haha.. like no one really understands lo... trying very hard to do everything already but ya, its nv ending... and ppl onli see it as tat section of it but not as a whole... actually i also abit dono wat im typing... haha...

10 days... omg... 10 days leh... haha... think i can control la hor... i'll take it as my challenge... oh wait.. i dono wat im bloggin le... haha.. all the i wan to say de things i cannot say... oh well.. byebye ba.. haha.. blogg rubbish again.. spoil market.. later ppl scold me ar... =x

*unspoken... it will get better in time*

wat do u do when u feel helpless....
u have 1001 things to do.. and u are sick...
wat can u do?
wat can u do when u see ppl ard u falling sick and u cannto do anything abt it...
wat can do u when u have alot of obligations...
the amt of load carried is weighing me down...
all i wan is jus a simple life with my honey red tea with jelly
so diff meh.. haha.. tim moodswinging again.. jus ignore...

*i wan to be with you but i think its best i let u rest.. then u can faster ok... ily... my honey red tea with jelly*

so busy eh....

haha.. so many emails abt proj, gotta start doin them all le...
tim tim.. jyjy... still got concert... ahh!... so many things eh.. nv ending...

anyway.. i hurt myself accidentally... ahh... so much blood lo.. but not say very pain also.. haha... but now i very scared of the "piak" snap sound... >.<

oh welll... dono wat to blog le.. but not bad la.. this few days happi.. thou im falling sick.. but im still happi... haha..

*my honey red tea with jelly... i love u so much! im glad i have u by my side.. muacks.. *hugs* get well soon..*

Hello... =)
Im like sitting outside the band room now... haha.. came to sch to do work cuz tot i can concentrate... but like no use ar.. still quite distracted... haha... sot de eh..

anyway.. heres a nice video someone showed me... =)
oh well.. shall try to do work now... =)


*timmie loves his honey red tea with jelly... =)*

absolutely adorable pics.. lols..

here are some pics tat my frens drew for me over the few mths... ain they so cute? omg... ^^

alright.. so the hols are finally here.. but also no rest.. not much of a diff.. haha... cannot stand it... haha... proj.. band... frens... wow... chalet? dono will stay anot... haha... oh well.. tim tim.. accept it..

hmm... so much to do... projs.. concert... WMC... wow... hope everything goes well.. im so bored lo.... haha.. sian... always sian... i dono wat i blogging also... sitting at the back of the band room.... blogging.. haha... frens say.. "tim, u no life lo.. day day band..." haha... band geek.. =x

so bored.. i shall stop here.....

haha.. heres a pic i made... taken while in the plan to london on 13 july... haha... miss the time in vienna.. now its goin to be 1 mth and i will be goin to kekrade... hope it will be as enjoyable... =)

*i wish u would take me away... im so tired.... looking forward to my holidays.. thou u wont be there... haha.. its ok.. tim is always solo...*

haha... im aching all over now... finally got to slp abit more...
ytd i slept at like 4? doing my CRM? haha... oh well..

ytd was nt a very nice day... firstly... not enough slp... slept at like ard 6 and woke up at abt 9? haha... so went to sch for a stupid 2 hr tut which is so so so boring... haha.. then i quarel with my fren... over a small matter... but i think its either im oversensitive ytd or my fren was jus being insensitive.. that last msg sent was like OMG can.. i read le so angry lo... i threw my phone... then my other classmates were like o.oo.oo.o??? wat happened.. so ya.. i had no more appetite for lunch.. there goes the food..

after tat... the grumpy and moody me went to meet my cher... but he was not there.. onli come back like next tues? but hello? tuesday i lesson till 6 eh... he knock off i still having lessons lo.. how to get things done... not much time le.. very stress de eh.... so many ICA.. still must do those things... save me can...

after tat... the even more sian diao de me.. went to get my hair done... haha... was in such a rotten mood tat i say anyhow cut la... then i anyhow dye my hair.. so its like blackish green? haha... grats to me! i am a weirdo monster now...

after tat.. went out with my fren... blah blah.. shant talk much abt this thing.. but i was happi.. yea... yup.. then on the way home... so so angry... haha... oh well.... (i got too worked up i guess... i had another relapse.. and this time i got a jab... saturday still need go back lo... =( hais)

and ya.. home... do proj... feeling so argh.... blah blah... and many other things happen... haha...

this para is for a fren of mine...
i dono why u are like tat lo... tell u liao... i got my reasons... u haven see the full story then so insistent about that issue... then if u don wan to tell me wats wrong.. i will nv know rite... and the way u sms is like.. so hostile lo.. then now u wan to come find fault? whos to blame? wats ur agenda of that post and sms? resolution or find fault... this sms i will rmb forever one lo... "no.. if u treasure our frenship u sms me" like.. i xploded after tat... haha! tim ar tim.... hais...

so yea... tats abt it ba... anyway.. i got a nice nice nice nice nice chicken chop and western goodies platter for lunch.. yeay!!! love my mummy lots... wake up got good food liao... haha... (tim.. must stay happi okie... don get so worked up again.. rmb wat the doctor say..)

*lost for words, just feel like being alone...*

jus wan to nag here...

today napfa... got a new pair of shoes jus for it.. waste money... cuz my old one opened... sadly... hais.. waste time lo... so tired... lesson.. after tat go eat buy shoe go home change go sch napfa... after tat band... so damn tired la...

and reach home.. still need do tut... still need plan event.... still need do so much other things... like... damn damn damn stress la... i still haven do my crm... friday need to hand in le... hais... 3 ica next week... will see how i die lo... 4 days of band.... i still need to do entre... like... really no comments le lo...

*hais... i really dono how to cope now...*

wow.. its like 1220 already... so wat have i done the past few hrs..

lets see.. woke up at 7 plus? went to sch... study.. train napfa stations... and sadly... i think wed i will be wasting my time... can i like go another time? when im like more free? and i nv land properly during one of my attempts for standing board jump... my right knee HURTS! i can straighten my leg...

so ya, after sch went straight for band.. finish like 610 la... =( and band start at like 630? wow.. superman... haha... so much to do! ahh... u see ar... this week must hand in my WHP E tut which is liek 10% of CP and CRM ica1... next week got Human behaviour ICA 1? and HRD ica1? and AUDITION? omg... im so so stress lo... still need to think abt WMC and Sinfonique... ahhh!!!! save me... =( not forgetting the irritating on goin ENTRE! so many tight deadlines...

to my frens... sorry if i offend u or wat... haha... tim is always tim eh.. hope u all uds... quite a stressful life u know.. like sch... then band... then still need to coach my younger bro's studies... yup.... =)

today i was chit chatting with one of my classmates.. and i came to realise that im already in my yr 3.... final year le lo... this 2 yrs... i have been so busy... have i ever like enjoyed my poly life? (except maybe tat few mths when u spend it with me? i was really happi then)
so busy.. so stress... again and again lo... i tell myself.. it will get better.. but it jus gets worse.. haha.. more and more stressed... when will i get to enjoy..

haha... a moth landed on my head lo... jus now... is it a good sign? or a bad sign.. haha... im goin to be so busy.. i can tell... haha.. mon to thur band... plus sch... i hope things get better ba... now.. tonite.. i don need slp le.. alot of work to be done.. lets hope i don fall aslp while trying to do them... okie... dono wat to blog le... and don wan to blog le... byebye...

*mydumdum... im so stressed... really really... but i miss u.. alot alot more.. *

so stress!!!

so much to do!!

so sad!!

so STUPID!!

i cannot stand myself... why am i so stupid... can i stop doin those stupid things? argh.... =( if onli life was easier... its jus not getting anywhere... i am tired le... so tired lo.. many a times... i tired so hard.. but... still getting no where... one day i will jus gif up.. and disappear... byebye...

*=( why?*

hello everyone...

i dono wat to blog.. haha... hmm.. recently very very busy lo.. alot of proj and sch work... erm... ya... now even tut also need do powerpoint eh... very sad eh... like... got sch work.. already drowning le... then got band work also... and soon i need to go work... time to save mroe... i've got plans.. lols... tim ar tim.. haha...

i think hor.. for the past few years.. i become nicer.. then become nasty.. then nice then nasty.. lol.. ok.. i shall conclude.. i shall be nice.. haha.. ok tim.. be nice now... =) stop being nasty.... unless u really have too.. haha...

ok lo.. ppl say until i very bad.. so fierce... but.. don really have a choice ma... i like the middleman... need to meet expectation of so many parties... haha..
u know... so stress ar... haha.. and i always say.. band is not a hotel.. u don come and go as u want... haha... ppl just don uds.. haha.. wat must i do to get their understanding and cooperation... HAHA! tim.. stop dreaming okie.. even ur PEM also say u spending too much time not studying already... haha.. get a life la... haha.. i think i shouldnt be blogging abt this... but oh well.. don really care anymore... 1 tim doin 10 000 tim's work..

lols.. i think i really bad mood this week lo... all my proj like heated discussion... haha.. hope my frens forgive me ar... hor.. haha.. i know u all will uds de... haha.. tim! hang in there okie...

haha.. and i was msging my fren.. and i wrote this...
"i think love is hard to come by, and i think that one should not think so much but jus treasure the moments together..
love is a chemistry.. sometime it goes boom but it has more interesting outcome..
love is like a learning journey.. getting to know each other more and me each day... and thats where u find more things to talk abt.. haha..
love is paitence and tolerance... we learn to see the beauty of imperfection..
love is sweet yet bitter.. too much of anything and it sucks..
love is jus a sweet gift from each other.... learn to love and appreciate...
don think so much... jus let it flow.. be happi and enjoy..."
haha.. then i was thinking.. why i can tell ppl tat but i carn do it for myself...
i always end up doin stupid things.. lol... ya lo.. tim ar tim.. y u so stupid... how many times have u did tat... so stupid lo!!! slap urself...

haha.. ok.. think i abit mad mad le.. ate like 2 lollipops and 3 pandas le... really a not good day for me.. haha... i wan more lollipops and pandas! ok tim.. onli 3 ppl will uds the meaning of tat.. haha... shh.. eat so much sweet later fat.. cut down okie... and u got napfa on wed.. sure fail.. haha...

ok la.. don wan type le.. sian.. very very sian... byebye... go stare at my lollipops...

*TiM*

*feel like talking to u.. but dono wat to say... do u even know?*

today's not a very good day... bad mood...

i hate to be angry... i hate to have to scold ppl... but sometimes, i have to do it cuz of my responsibilities... and today, i quarrel with my fren over something.... which is like damn stupid... ahhh.. hate it... sometimes i think tat this job of my is really ruining my life... ahh!

im so stress u know.. so many deadlines!! and audition coming.. and ahh! concert... ah!!! managment~~~ ahahah..... tim is goin mad mad... today i was so worked up... i had no appetited to eat.. and during tat 30 mins when i was so angry... i started trembling... i think i shd go for anger management... haha... bad temper...

*mydumdum, i was so sick and scared jus now... how i wish u were here... could you comfort and take care of me like before? =) miss u so much.. as usual... i wonder what are ur tots...*

hello!

jus tot of blogging... tml goin to run in the morning... but like so earli.. but have to.. for napfa sake... haha... hope my back will be better.. =)
deadlines are coming nearer... tim tim.. tim to start working hard... jyjy!

*mydumdum, i really wan to know wat u are thinking... miss you so much*

hello everyone..

its 2 weeks into sch.. haha.. hows everything? hmmm.. so so lo.... =)
yup... and tim is abit more motivated now.. need alot more... lotsa deadlines.. i dono how but i sprain my neck and shoulders.. got a weird feeling abt it... but shan't comment on it here... yup...

napfa on 20 may.. like.. OMG... 2 weeks time? can i jus skip it.. sure fail anyway... let me train liao then go take can? haha... or can i jus excuse myself from it totally? haha...

dono wat to blog liao eh... haha.. and aiyo.. hate ppl to advertise on my blog.. Zzz... slap..

*mydumdum - counting down till i smile... feels like forever... ahhh...*

tim tim tim...

tim lacks motivation... everything is so sian sian sian...

*dying to hear dumdum say it*

im here to blog nonsense again...

how ar.. my report like not goin anywhere... so distracted.. so inefficent... =x...

tml welcome tea.. wonder how things will be... haha...

*i miss u... so much... mydumdum.. but i carn tell u*

sch term is finally starting?
so how will things be?

haha.. roughly have a mental image le ba...

anyway.. i think im always slow eh... i think that sometimes... im so slow.. i don even realise wat has happened... ur closest fren may become ur worse enermy... wa... so fierce... haha... tim tim.. just give up ba... ppl always K.S. u.. u always slow by abit.. haha...ok.. tim doesnt know wat he is blogging...

but ya.. when moments turn into memories... wat ppl don see behind those smiles... well.. tim always say its now now now... no more things of the past.. but he still clings on to his "lost" fren.. frens who were once best buddies... are now... strangers... which makes him emo.. and jus don uds wat happened.. haha.. oh well.. anyway..

I HATE PPL TO TOUCH MY THINGS... like.. ya.. hate it.. please ask b4 taking.. and return after using... hais... and stop eyeing my stuff la... i onli got those left with me le.. stop taking them away from me.. give me some peace... i lost so much already... hais...

*dumdum.. im so sad now... will u cheer me up?*

so now... i have completed my attachment.. like YEAY!!! but also =( ... goin miss my supervisors..... . . . . .. . .. . . .

have been overworked and YEA, sick... haha... can u imagine goin to work with 38.5? lucky im better now... haha.. hmmm.... kinda funni thou... monday wil be back in school already... . . . . gotta JYJY!!!! haha...

i dono wat im blogging.. im jus blogging.. blogging.. blogging....


*dumdum... when moments turn into memories....*

theres onli one me in this world.. and there are never ending things to do... i wonder... i really wonder... when will it all end... its getting more and more personal.. i think tat if i don like vent it out here i will explode soon...

i really really neglected my frens la.. damn it... and i carn free myself up... ARGH... DAMN! i hate it... sorry my frens.. i wish i could.. ireally really miss some of u... but... i dono wat to do now... things at work is getting me and more busy... so is band... i wish i can find help... but... where can it be found? i don even have time to do up my report.. like... =( im really damn irritated by it... im too stretched... i haven even start sch.. lecturers start calling me... like WAT?! Zzz im already so caught up.. and there they go... =/ nv ending thigns to do.. i keep tinking... wat if ... wat if i handed in tat letter? will i be better off now... i tink i will be less stressed up... its so difficult to get things done.. and PPL KEEP THROWING THEIR ATTITUDE AT ME... hais... i can jus accept it... and to all who got nth better to do... COULD U JUS LEAVE ME ALONE FOR AWHILE?

stop asking me for things.. this and tat.. stop it... i might jus walk off if i had enough.. and i already am having enough... i know i should be blogging abt this but who cares... im already losing myself.. i lost my brother, my best frens... my frens.. wat more to loss... i had enough... really... its getting too personal... too personal...

wat for hide all these emotions... and be the puppet slave? do i have a choice? i don think so... who uds? WHO? well.. onli i do... alone in this world... life has been so.. will be so.. and hope will nto be so... my future looks ruin.. by tat one responsibility tat grew..

this is back to his busi self.. now even mroe busy then ever... haha... TIM AR TIM!!! wat a sad life u have.... sometimes i wish i had more time...
i have so much to do... and ppl who are damn free keep ADDing more things for me to do... i already try my best to gif others le.. but they also alot of thigs to do ma... how how how? i need everyone to co operate... yes! if everyone can don delay.. everything will be much easier... everyone is being squeezed.. and its a vicous cycle.. ur delay will delay others and everyone will get affected...

sometimes i wish i have 10 more hrs a day... like 34 hrs.. btu i think i wil still complain 34 hrs is nto enough... maybe maybe... alot of wat ifs... haha... i can onli say... i brought this among myself... i don blame anyone or myself.. this is anotehr challenge i have to overcome.. once i live thru it.. i grow stronger... i BELIEVE tat i can do it... =) okie.. im self motivating again..

i wan to say also tat... sometimes i be nice... and tat does mean im not aware of things... u can lie to me... i know u are lying but i hope u know wat u are doin.... i hope its all genuine... i jus hope so... i choose to believe so... and don go overboard cuz i may jus explode... and its not goin to be a pleasent sight... tolerance has its limits....

and its 1 more week.. and i hope i will have mre time for other thigns... i must start mugging for my studies... i wan better results... no more slacking... study is my main priority... yes... at all cost... =]

i have been neglecting my frens... i am so busy i carn think of a reply.. i carn meet them.. i have to reject them... i try to meet up.. i am trying... i jus need more time in a day... i don wish to loss any... so heres my sincere apologies if i have neglected u.... GOMENASAI.... dui bu qi... sorry.... i really treasure my frens alot.. they support me when im down... encourage me when i wanna give up... and they try to uds when i have no choice but to reject them....

and the more personal side of me... i really wish to do some things.. but i jus don have the time... im so busy... the amt of time i spend at home awake is not even enough to fully charge my mobile... but some may think... if u prioritise ur time well.. u can do it.. or some might even think... are u sure u are so busy... wat can i say... i don have time to care abt it... i have decided to give up on certain things for the bigger picture.. the personal side has to wait... i really have no time.. thou for the past few years.. i have put it aside.. this is another one of those countless time im setting it aside.. i jus hope things will get better.. and i will have more time... time time time.... if there is a time machine tat can stop time... i want it... i need it.... at least get some rest.... i am so tired.. so slpy... i rush everywhre... i think abt everything even in my slp... i can even dream of ans... omg... i NEED A BREAK...

ok... tim... now u speak part of it... its time to slp.. tml is anotehr day... challenge... take care... u can do it... lets wish tat i will not be sick tml again... u can do this... yes u can.. i know u can.. and yes i can... =)

*really no comments... hais... dumdum is really dum... so much i carn say... one day.. its gonna explode... *

こんばわ。おげんきですか？
わたしは　ちむです。
どおぞよおしく。。。。

えと。。。

so how has life been? like tat lo.. so bored.. so lifeless... haha... im so SIAN of everything... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . so monotone...
i jus feel like staring into blank space... wats the motivation in waking up everyday? nth.. haha.. oh well... so sian.. . . . . . . . ... . .. . .. . . . . . hais.... sian sian sian ar sian sian sian.... . . . . .. . .. . .typing nonsense.... . . . . . . . . .

byebye

*わたしのdumdumです。。。＊

aren't they so cute? thanks for all these cheery pictures... =)

sometimes i wish things were different.. but things wont change so jus live with it... =]

*hais... mydumdum.... my dum dum.... mydumdum... my dum dum*

Control and tolerance is the key word for today

*how? same old sentence.. so much to tell u*

yet another day...

jus abit more.. hang in there.. =)

sometimes i jus don understand why things happen...

day in day out worry this and tat...
so busy.. i am like having a full day work.. after tat go for band... then rush home to teach homework.. hais... after tat still got my other work to do... trying very hard to multitask already.. but jus seem to not have enough time... i sometimes jus feel like quiting evrything... don care... jus relax and enjoy.. is anyone else more busy then me? hais! HATE IT.. its worse when other ppl are not being helpful at all... maybe i shd be more selfish..

cuz of this.. i have been losing myself.. i no longer have control over wat i do.. i act like a lunatic.. wat happen to the old me? wheres the happi little boi.. why do i now have to take all those remarks, comments, responsibilities... sometimes being a kid is such a bliss.. so carefree.. so peaceful.. ignorance is a bliss... i wan a break.. i need it.. before i go mad... which i think am 80% mad already...

wat if one day i totally loss myself... will i get admitted to IMH? will i still know who i am? who will rmb me.. who are the true frens.. who cares? who understands?

life has alot alot of question marks.. the optimistic comments and self encouragement seem to have numb off... none of which is helping.. no longer... like a drug overdose.. useless...

if there is a time machine.. i would like to not have alot of things.. sometimes u just feel like u are in all these alone... everyday is jus another day of torture... so busy.. so tired.. i don even have time for myself...

=(

=]

tim is so tired... AGAIN...

but today at least i met up with frens who i haven met in a long time.

*mixed emotions.. =)? or =(? *

tim is so tired.


*i have so much to tell u.. but i don know how... *