300110 - reflections

a quiet day.. alot of tots.. and reflection.. haha.. sometimes i miss the past... but still.. told myself the future is better! so look forward! today is also a gorge myself day.. kinda ate alot today.. really alot.. whole day.. think so much already.. try to physco myself to think otherwise but nah.. not workable.. my stand still so strong and stubborn.. haha... and do u believe in magic? i was in church.. the usual.. then when i open my eyes.. "1 msg received" =) like magic...

went out for dinner.. =) and its another full moon nite.. full moon!.. many many tots... anyway.. im pressed with deadlines.. 4+1 project.. monday, BPO submission.. tuesday IB! wed bpo presentation. thursday mcad... friday! and monday compen... i am stressed! wooo.... can't wait for all the projects to end!

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like a kid. i do silly things. but the heart is pure. a genuine smile =)
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.tim *i have faith!*

Collection of memories of the week

The Importance of planning for the future

met with whitney's aunt the other time.. and one of her qn is so wat are u planning to do after graduation.. can say.. lucky tat i already planned my life... i could answer.. but then again.. so what about the others who didnt plan.. its not just answering a question but its ur life.. i think whitney's aunt carried herself well.. very professional, very pose.. in chinese.. got 气质.. in whitney's terms.. got 脎气. even in school we learn "Failing to plan is planning to fail" which brings me to my 2nd tot.

The German's way of doing things

germans tend to always plan.. plan A plan B plan C and so on.. why? cuz they wanna make sure everything goes well.. contingency plans.. from young.. i've been taught to do so.. spontaneous thinking.. contingency planning.. things i use to think "wat for.. its a waste of time" but has proven useful in life.

Importance of carrying urself well

first impression counts. alot of ppl say. i don go for looks.. but in real life.. light travel faster then sound rite? u see someone b4 you hear them.. can say, im very vain.. for a reason.. has it done me any harm? no. in fact. its been good. but some ppl made it so -.- meet a lecturer in school tat day... and she was talking abt some HR competition with my classmate.. and she ask. eh, timothy nv join meh? no wonder u didnt win.. u nv ask him to wink at the judges.. i was abit offended.. like.. its been like this for some time.. alot of ppl say.. but i shoo it away like a joke.. but judge for yourself la.. i did my work ok.. i don go around winking to everyone for my grades.. HA HA HA. i am not a HIMBO... WHATEVER la... unimportant tots.

Always look on the bright side of life

even since the creation of http:/timmislife.blogspot.com, how many of u actually rmb this phrase? its been there.. somewhere.. always.. life is full of ups and downs.. many a times... u lost urself.. then u find urself back again.. then things happen that pull u down... its like nv ending right? then u can tell others how to handle but cannot handle yours.. kinda laughable.. i realise this.. and its time i find myself back... the very successful.. smart, talented, well carried. well looked upon.. independent me.. woo.. CNY COMING! i must be ready for the questions abt this apple.. stressed but i will spell it back wards.. desserts...

more recollection when i can recall... that's all for now.. smile timmi

.tim

No Motivation to do anything at ALL!

Ring, Ring.. hello, soul.. time to come home!

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make a guess.

.tim

290110 - gastric?

another long sleepy day. lessons in the morning and yup, fall aslp again.. had super sweet mac breakfast hotcakes.. my fren say if i everyday eat can go chop off my leg already.. but its been some time since the last sweet experience i can recall.. been blunt and bitter.. had a little surprise for halif.. hope u are dam happi abt it! we know u know ah... =)

went MS with st,clement,halif,whitney,cheryl to celebrate halif's bday.. bowling, lunch and movie.. shopped alittle for my stuff.. retail therapy again.. oh man, how long can this last? must solve the root of the problem soon.. if not its like.. dono how say la... we watched "my ex" a thai love horror movie.. it was quite scary in the beginning and wasnt in the mood for it.. wanted to leave but hey.. maybe i can scare some tots away.. but it was more of a gore then scare... i was dam grossed out but the blood.. 1) i cannot tolerate a puddle of blood infront of me.. 2) i cannot tolerate the sight of knifes slicing thru and blood squirting out.. 3) its been sometime since i see someone flying down and blood flooding the road.. all in all... i was more shocked then scared... walk ard alittle b4 goin off.. alot was said otw... alot of tots

went out for a chat with my fren. yup.. feel better in some ways.. and yet... questions in another... my stand is still the same.. but somehow.. its getting more painful in a way.. quite heavy ah.. and oh no. i think i forgot abt dinner.. my stomach is PAIN! and im burping hydrochloric acid with enzymes in them..

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On this day, God wants you to know...

... that there are Divine signs and messages galore if you learn to look for them. What is that song lyric that is stuck in your head? Which book do you keep hearing about? What animal appeared suddenly as you were driving down the road? These signs may be an answer to a question you have. Take the time to unravel the mystery of these messages.

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signs.. read read read.. wat if u read wrongly how? next week is proj week.. i really need to solve this soon.. the final lap.. i can't stumble now.. i can't.. how shd it be approached.. how shd it be solved? nth cant be solved.. nothing such as forgot or nth to say.. excuses.. its a matter of willingness... timmi! u must solve it! don hide in ur shell! but it takes 2 person to solve too..

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.tim *endeavor for logic... seek the t*

i fell aslp on the sofa... and i had a dream..

people say usually, u dream about the thing u were last thinking about b4 u fell aslp.. and suddenly it feels so real.. oh gosh.. maybe this song might help visualize the dream.. maybe i shd go back to sleep..

.tim *i really do*

280110 - mind control

sleepy sleepy long and tiring day. half the time i tried to really listen in class... half the time i fell aslp.. went out for lunch with my classmates and shopped alittle.. cuz my brain was too dead to think.. ate super alot.. home, shopped alone otw home.. took a 10 min nap and went out to the night bazaar by the central..

did stupid and silly stuff today cuz i was sleepy? like running to my lecturer to take her photo in the lecture hall and soon realise it was so dum.. reflects badly on me.. unglam and im so not living up to my reputation.. oh watever.. wat else, i posed stupid ugly post for photos... cuz my soul drifted off..

the whole day have been about mind control.. filtering tots and controlling emotions.. in the end, alone at the bazaar.. i let go.. ha ha ha.. nvm.. tml i will try harder.. good job timmi. tml jiayou.. the moon was my comfort tonite.. shinning brightly, welcoming me home.. the moon.. alright.. back to mind control.. shan't rant again.. i shall "swallow them down" as wat miss tan said...

.tim *i tried to resist.. but i couldn't.. i'll try harder tml.*

260110 - getting the better of me.

time for therapy... don read it if u think its redundant.. i just need to rant.

another day. little slp. rush project onli to know it has been changed again.. now i have to redo it again. =( tired. hr seminar was ok. .learnt sth.. had to trouble to ask ms tan for help with my other projects.. thank you.. band was good.. sounded real nice.. emotional. cuz its my last practice as a band member and a president. the next time i step in, i will be alumni. i want to post abt my 2.5 yrs in band. not now.. but i will.. after these projects.

proj proj proj. tut tut tut... other things... it makes me wanna put my hands up in despair and say.. i really give up.. its the time when i am most emotional and i will tend to be oversensitive and think too much.. for now, i know i will be so.. and i will be grumpy.. just bear with me for awhile.. chinese new year is coming... and its 4 days after my project submission. i really have no time.. give me money also no use... i have no time to shop.. its the time of your life when u say.. i wish there was someone here to accompany you and support u thru all these "shit"... i really dono wat happened to me.. im so damn emotional lately.. wth is wrong man.. wat happen to ME! i know i can do this.. i use to be able to.. i need to find myself back.. thou i still don rely on others.. but like i said many times before.. every successful man has a supportive wife or whoever that person is.. i tired to recall who was this person.. and i have my ans..

im sorry to all my frens if u think i change.. i am no longer myself.. i don mean to walk pass u without noticing u... i really dont. i don mean to ignore wat u said... i really didnt hear.. i don mean to be grumpy or emotional or whatsoever.. just bear with me.. ignore me if cannot stand me... for i am alone in this.. i know.. for now i am.. theres only me left to help myself.. im not being pessimistic.. don rely on others.. maybe this is why i decided to throw my phone. sorry phone.. i don mean to abuse u.. i really am giving up in many aspects of my life.. i said this to someone.. its like the icing to ur life.. it makes ur life nicer and sweeter.. without it, thou its more difficult but u still live.. i am counting down to the day i say. NO MORE PROJECTS! i must bring myself out to relax. if not, who will? those who don uds u and add probs to u and are not impt ppl.. let them go.. u have too much to handle for now.. if they are really ur frens.. they will be understanding enough and will support u... just a willingness issue

i must manage my time. i must manage my derailed life. i must SCORE well for school. i must continue to be a good son. i must and i will. how? i dono, i will fine tune it on the way.. for now.. jy timmi.. u can do this.. yes! after all these. i will buy myself an itouch or iphone as a reward. my self motivational reward. maybe go on a holiday.... save up tim! since u won be hungry when u are stress.. since u have no time to shop for cny clothes. since u have no blah blah blah.. i will stop.

.tim*sometimes i just wish this particular u is really non imaginary and here to support me*

all too sudden

im home now. after so long.

i'll be out soon again.

this day is really.. a day..

cab uncles are vicious.. pretend to be concerned over ur swollen eyes and later short change u.. how vicious.. i have nth to say.. even the cab uncles wan to bully me.. now.. i am beginning to disregard wat you call.. a life..

.tim *its broken.. am trying to mend it but its too broken*

Sorry seems to be the hardest word.

where am i now? in school

wat am i doing? cooling down and doing my proj

Why am i here? cuz i ran away.

wat happened?

sth happened which made me unstable and the small one at home keeps irritating me. my aim of going home early today was to do up my projects and keep myself busy and not think about other things that have been haunting me. so finally i couldnt take it and i wanted to ask him wat the prob was that he need to throw his tantrums again. rude as he always is. he scream at me. i tolerated. and it happened again. so this time i screamed. and i decided. i will go out. he slammed his door. i went him and talked to him. and ok. since u don like me to be ard. i shall make myself disappear.

everything in my life is goin fucked up right now. my angel.. where are u? packing my stuff and leaving home, i saw my mummy.. i know she wan me to stay home.. but theres just so much happening within me i think its best for me to take a break.. im sorry mummy.. i know u will be reading this.. sorry for putting u in a spot.. both are your sons.. u love both as much... for now.. let me go.. if theres anything.. jus give me a ring... im sorry...

for the rest of the things happening in my life.. i dono wat to do abt it anymore.. wat ever u wan to do.. i have no say.. just do.. i gave up on my life.. its getting so out of hand. i don know how to solve it anymore... let me drown and be on my way for judgment up above.

.tim *and im still hoping.. will my strong faith bring me light in this dark hr?*

buerbong!

school work is driving me nuts.. 4 projs.. compen, ib, mcad, bpo.... 4 papers soon.. stress is an understatement.. and this is jus about school.. maybe the time has come.. really... please don come.. =( im very tired. but i cant slp. i have to be strong.. i will be.. timmi!

.tim

*for once. i am really wishing very hard.please don fail me.. please.. for once.timmi. control.. don let it flow out.timmi.. be strong.my wish! please come true.. please…*

250110 - Gorge myself day.

have been eating alot alot alot alot lately... began my day pretty well.. i drag myself out of bed and went to sch... to remind myself to be happi, i drew a smiley face on my left palm using permanent marker which wasnt quite permanent. SOQM tut... miss ong mentioned this sentence.. we shd remove all non-value-add activities in our lives cuz theres really no value in doin them.. which is think is quite true.. hmmm...

oh well.. after sch went to east point Han River for steamboat to celebrate ilah's and halif's birthday.. hey ilah! hope u like the present =) halif u wait ah... be patient.. who went? jj, carol, shareen, ilah, halif, lebin, clement, sufri, ST and me. ate super alot.. gorge myself... anyway... thanks lebin for the heartpumping lift =)

headed back to sch.. super tired. slept on the train.. ate half my dinner. band was ok. i shall pract more. headed home. however well the day went.. it ended with a =( maybe i shd tattoo the smiley face on my palm.. or use a more permanent marker.. good nite.

.tim *you are my value add*

240110 - pain!

force myself to wake up earli to go church.. and rest abit at home b4 heading out to get some stuff... yup... I WENT OUT! wat to do.. if i don do it, who will? i am dying of pain right now... and my mummy scold me.. so its pill and bed time... anyway, thanks to the ppl who accompanied me today on such short notice. =)

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On this day, God wants you to know...

... that if you relax, it comes. Don't seek, don't search, don't ask, don't knock, don't demand - relax. If you relax, it is there. If you relax, God shows you the way.

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.tim *can u hear the beat? =)*

240110 - hey boy! take care!

woke up quite earli after trying so hard to slp... renovation at home! omg. laid down.. cant move alot.. eat and eat and eat and eat.. i feel FAT! went off to work... sian, today alot of uncles! but nvm, i had some fun entertaining myself.. and letting them win... 3 hrs none rest standing... when i walk, i can hear the cracking.. haha.. i shd rest soon.. really...

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i read this somewhere on the net..

in order to help others, help urself first.. cuz usually u are more concern of the other person then you will put down ur issues and help.. after some time, u may feel like.. u have alot of probs.. and the other person is always complaining.. u might feel irritated? cuz u got ur probs too.. and the other person is not able to help.. but on the other hand, if u nv say it out, the other person cannot possible guess right? haha... so, help urself first.. just say it out.. cuz its these small things that make u know more abt each other... =)

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.tim *yay, i think u are happy which equals to i am happy too.. yay! =)*

220110 - Clumsy boy

PPT in the morning... i almost lost my finger while making my "tv" and i was nervous while presenting.. i dono why.. anyway... i left my shoes in the tut room! wth.. thanks ks and tiff for getting them for me.. =) gave ilah a mini surprise bday brownie icecream candle thing.

went off to meet yh at 313, made a cake for the 3 girls... had food at swensens which was a horror. really horrible service... OMG! anyway.. i wan eat more ice cream... and sorry tiffany, 1) i spilled water onto her bag. 2)i drop the broacher holder into the food. 3) i drop the menu onto her food.. haha.. im so clumsy today... lastly.. sorry everyone.. i drop half the cake! OMG! timmi! wat happened to u! wake up wake up. walk ard with them... tiff, yh, ks, sh.. till one point, i started to feel uneasy.. then stone.. then dizzy.. then decided.. its time i head home. and the train was pack =(

got home, took a nap.. felt terrible.. and got it checked.. hope everything is fine! i have to survive the next 2 weeks healthy.. after tat.. i don care.. =)

.tim *i did my research = i know how to handle now)*

its a very tiring day, presentation at 8 am later.. timmi don oversleep! jiayou! rmb drink red bull tml.. and plans and plans.. oh~ tired...

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it still leak despite trying so hard to prevent it. "druuup~ one drop, two drop....."

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.tim *Create new moments.*

200110 - Check it out...

study and study.. ib and ib.. argh.. and the paper was not tat easy lo... not enough time to do leh... =( and my hand so stiff... i wan buy new pen! those pen suck. cannot write fast fast... and the table so small... =( my neck pain.. ok.. don complain liao... anyway.. i decided to come home to do my ihrm report which yays! i finished it.. next is the ppt.. then im done..

i am stressed! theres still IB to start.. MCAD to start. BPO to complete.. and compensation! alot to do.. i read the info but am clueless how to start.. die die die.. no time no time! kuai dian.. lets finish those proj asap.. my head goin boom boom boom soon. like my ma say, ah boy, study must on some music, so quiet, i see also stress... ah boy, come eat first.. later then do work.. come ah boy drink coke.. come ah boy.... this and tat... oh my ma.. luv u...

lesson at 8 tml.. omg. can it get any earlier? =( and then theres IHRM presentation at 8 am on friday! omg. wear wat? =( so earli.. on a lighter note, 2am got new album, damn nice...

i have 123456789 things to do and say. but i only have 1 mouth.. 1 mind. its when its all tangled up and u jus go erm.... erm... i dono how to say and u just stare and everything seem to be just ok.. suddenly.. timmi jiayou. control =)

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wish upon the star.

star light, star bright.

you seem so near yet so far.

shinning light, sparkling blink

will you be my guide tonite.

when you wish upon a star.

and give ur dreams a dazzling start

there's hope and faith and trust comes fast

not 2 not 3 but only 1.

wont you come and stay tonite.

.tim

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.tim *i wish upon the stars*

IB SUCKS... anyway... today is not a good day.. aside from buying my frens yakult.. and going on a retail therapy.. i still boomz.. tml will be a better day.. 7 chapters! i can do this... yes i can.. timmi the great.. nothing is impossible for him.. =) i shall go ice cream after the paper.. im not goin for practice tml.. i shall take a break. after 3 years... time for a nap.

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mind over matter. positive thinking.

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.tim *i wan my babyy! i wanna eat chocolate and lollipop and ice cream!*

180110 - a daze

dragged himself out of bed at 7 and headed to sch for a 2 hr tut which he nv listen... got back his SOQM paper and wow.. such a disappointment.. tried to push my meeting forward so tat i could head home and rest.. but nah.. someone was busy.. meeting at 4.. and by the time im done with lunch its already 2.. pointless to head home.. pushed it to 3 pm.. for 27 mins.. pointless.. -.- for wat i go.. do phone meeting la... off to the band room.. lazy to open up, i sat outside and onlined.. guess wat.. i fell aslp on my laptop with my stuff on the table.. alone.. and the construction going on beside me... the noise and stuff.. =\ must be really tired.. dinner tat sucks.. i fell aslp on my waterbottle.. i think i seriously lack slp..

band was emotional.. the songs... i just had to inject so much into them.. where else can i say it out but during music making? the tone and sound tat speaks.. indeed.. music.. and i said tat i will post a long post abt my presidential life.. the 2 years worth of it.. but not now.. once all is settle.. i will.. =) yes, my dear classmates.. i am stepping down already.. don scold me le la.. i know i must study liao.. time to let it go... thanks for being with me.. and udsing me.. thanks...

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.tim *i must be strong.. i will be brave..*

eyes tat speaks.. the fearlessness.. the courage..

eat eat eat. dwaeji

why haven i been updating? cuz i don have the mood to.. anyway... this few days.. i've been eating alot alot alot.. thinking alot alot alot.. ups and downs alot alot alot... i worked... with uncle aunties surrounding me trying to make me talk to them... "ah boy, u very cool ah, don talk.. like the macau casino dealer" -.- can u just leave me alone? i busy enough counting chips..

the little one skipped sch.. and its like sec 1 January onli lo.. small one, please grow up and start thinking abt ur future.. stop playing so much.. and hogging on TV playing Xbox.. let alone the computer.. study eh... grow up liao.. start tinking!

today is a slp and eat day for me i guess... slp eat tv slp eat tv.. totally no mood for studies.. in the quit sch mood again.. but then, i got motivated somehow.. did abit of my work.. but now.. im down again.. oh.. the ups and downs.. its really these ups and downs... one moment u are ok.. next u are not.. i really dono wat to expect next.. can things please go well for once... please...

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God is fair

someone once told me tat daddy god is fair.. theres a balance.. like if u are good in sth, u loss out in other.. someone can have looks.. but are not very smart.. i tot thru today.. im not very good looking.. nor am i ugly.. im not very smart, nor am i dum.. im successful in many ways.. but im a failure in many other things... everyone has his strength and weakness.. i won say i am a good president, theres alot of things tat i could have done otherwise alot better.. but ppl only see the surface.. theres alot to it.. its a very stressful post.. and moreover, u have to juggle ur studies too.. many a times i crumble.. many a times ppl say, u don act like ur caliber... many a times, i find ppl who support me.. and ppl who dont..

every successful person has a "behind the scenes person" supporting him or her.. and in return, u support him or her back.. tolerance, patience, love, care... its a mutual understanding.. one tat is so simple.. yet so complicated.. it takes 2 hands to clap.. it takes 2 ppl to maintain.. it takes 2 person to live.. *i am really praying very hard.. i don wan to loose you*

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.tim *and i try to uds and act on it, cuz i wan u to be happy*

i saw this on disney channel and think its a nice song to share... enjoy..

*for you*

140110 - [ ]

wat a day. 8am lesson. lebin drove us out for lunch.. nice food... thanks! went to NLB to get the CA for compensation project... walked ard alone till i reach suntec half drenched.. =\ my legs are failing me.. tailbone down, my left leg is painnnnnnnnnnnnnful... dinner and walked ard somemore.. walk walk walk... my head was.. aiyo.. don walk so fast... gently walk.. don stomp.. ouch. ouch. ok ok.. walk this way.. siam the crowd..

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one by one.. they are disappearing... they want to go far far away... reel them back.. reel harder.. too much resistance it will snap.. how how... its just me.

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.tim

*for you, for me, for us*